I'm trying. I'm trying to sleep.
Sunday, June 28, 2015 Posted In hopeless , lifesux , lonely , sad Edit This
But I can't cos you all have guns for hands...
It feels like all my thoughts have guns for hands. I spend so much time trying to sleep but instead worrying about my future and ruminating on all my sorrows and the failures in my life that will inevitably lead to a hopeless unhappy future. And then I don't get enough sleep and I go crazier and I worry more and it just seems like some kind of amplification cycle.
I'm so tired...
Reached a point last night where I was so stuffed up from crying that I genuinely couldn't breathe. So much panic. Such a lack of perspective. So much self-hate.
I often contemplate "evaporating" but I've never thought about holding a hair-dryer to the puddle that is me quite so much as in those few moments.
It feels like all my thoughts have guns for hands. I spend so much time trying to sleep but instead worrying about my future and ruminating on all my sorrows and the failures in my life that will inevitably lead to a hopeless unhappy future. And then I don't get enough sleep and I go crazier and I worry more and it just seems like some kind of amplification cycle.
I'm so tired...
Reached a point last night where I was so stuffed up from crying that I genuinely couldn't breathe. So much panic. Such a lack of perspective. So much self-hate.
I often contemplate "evaporating" but I've never thought about holding a hair-dryer to the puddle that is me quite so much as in those few moments.