Sin Duda Nada: sisters

the river flows in you.

		River Flows in You by Yiruma ............................. Hi, my name is Nada and I have an amazing life. Things are good from within at the moment. Life is (obviously) not perfect. But I can deal. And I'm happy about that. I'm managing to do both the things that I want and the things that I need at the moment. I'm fairly content with my current work ethic. I don't feel as lost as last year, and granted I don't make my revision notes the same day I learn things, but that's not my goal anyway. I find it more helpful to write up lectures after a short delay, so I have time to process and let things sink in. Also, if I started revising from now, it would be very a very superficial process and I wouldn't retain much information. I know myself well. I've joined archery and it makes me happy. It's not a terribly active sport, but there is definitely skill involved and I want to perseve and get good at something. Also, I feel like a badass every time I shoot an arrow. And it's a great way to spend time with some of my friends that I see less often. I've also been walking pretty much everywhere, and it's about a 3mile walk from home to campus, and I go fairly often in the week. So it's not like I'm completely static. Life has been fun, the house is mostly sorted. And I'm happy living here. And my housemates are not driving me up the wall! But that said, one of my housemates is not on my course, so I don't see her in the day. And the other has completely different interests to me (although we do see more of each other). It's good for me to have distance. I'm a pretty private person. I wouldn't say everything has been smooth sailing. I believe that there are people out there who are incredibly selfish while managing to seem generous. See, the thing is, with those people, they are only generous when they have something to gain from being that way. In one person I know, the main thing they have to gain is company. This person cannot deal with not having people around, but does not give a shit if you don't want people around all the time. So sometimes I have to be selfish too. Sometimes you can sit in my living room alone if you insist on inviting yourself over daily. Don't think I haven't noticed that you're slowly trying to move into my house, I see you depositing your clothes and food here. Just know this, it's your own fault for being in the living situation you are in. It's not that I'm not sympathetic, I am. We all make bad decisions, and it's very hard to think ahead and know what life will really be like after you make a choice. But while the burden of misery (it's not even misery for you- you were fine before, you've just gotten it in your head that you're unhappy) is best shared, you're not supposed to dump it all on someone else. What I'm saying is, forgive me, but I will be selfish too. Sometimes you need to do things to make yourself feel good. There are also people out there who are stubborn and anal retentive. Look, the house is mine. And I know (very well, might I add) that nothing is permanent. Situations change quickly and unexpectedly, both around you and within you. So I do not appreciate you complicating my life by making a million changes to the place that is owned by ME. Especially when such changes are unnecessary. For the past three years I've lived in spaces that were not mine to change. But I still managed to make things my own. Trust me, you could have done it too. I've now given you a lot of leeway, but if you start to eat my currently peaceful brains again, I will not be so pleasant. So now that I've gotten that out there, a list of things that make me happy: 1) Following the lives of positive people. I'm one of those people who soaks up vibes when they're sent out by certain people. Seeing people live their happy lives makes me live mine happily. I don't generally want exactly what they have, but I like finding kindred spirits and letting other people's thoughts and views help me grow. Also, watching swimming videos reminds me that people have to work hard and be committed to get what they want. And that a lot of my dreams are in the realms of possibility. 2) Medicine. Last year medicine was very cool. But it didn't give me enough happy as before I started on the journey. It makes me happy again. I like learning, I think I'd forgotten that. The other day I spoked to a real patient and determined their condition correctly. That was a major ego boost. Two years ago, I think I had very different goals for what I wanted from medicine. I wanted to change the world through humanitarian work. That would still make me very happy, but now, I think so would a job working for the Royal Ballet or for USA Swimming or an organisation of the sort. None of this is final. Of COURSE I know I'll change my mind umpteen times before I (inshallah) reach the end of this degree. It's not good to put all your eggs in one basket, but it's beautiful to have goals and to give your life meaning and to have things to daydream about. I will always be a daydream believer. 3)My kitchen. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a college student. I still feel no great love for cooking, but my kitchen is just absolutely beautiful, hamdillah. And the other day I made these really cool vegetarian sausage. That's another thing actually, I really rather enjoy my vegetarian/pescetariandiet these days. 4)Meeting new people. Sometimes I have to convince myself to do this, but I generally really enjoy it. I went to this Islamic society dinner and it was interesting to meet a variety of people there. The people in archery are also... interesting. :P 5)Music. But this was always true. I've recently realised I have what is probably the most eclectic music taste of all my friends. I thoroughly enjoy the stuff on the charts as well as my techno-house stuff. Very conducive to late night pre-shower bathroom dancing. Which nobody will ever witness. I love my sixties stuff as well. Me and my housemate went on a walk to explore our neighbourhood one Saturday morning. We played sixties songs on speak from my iPhone (with a casette tape cover) and sang along. Sorry if we disturbed you. We are just generally always singing. It's like a disease. I also still very much love my alternative tracks. Me and my friends recently purchased tickets to go see Mumford and Sons play over here in November! I am beyond keen. I also love my 80s power ballads and my classical playlist (even opera.) 6)Social media. Particularly here, Twitter and Tumblr. I've given up tweeting when angry. I love using it to follow the swimming community as well as to tweet funny anecdotes about my day. Tumblr is lovely for beautiful photos and funny conversations I want to document. I even have Pinterest. I also have a plan to educate my lovely flatmate who also happens to have a daydreamer personality type in the ways of the interwebs. Oh also, I changed the look of this blog. I grew up, so I felt like it needed to as well. I still like all the things I had on here before, but I stopped feeling a need to have them all together, all out there. 7)My family. DUH. This list is not in any order. My family would probably be at the top if it was. Of course, they can still drive me nuts, but they are all incredibly ridiculous people. I really believe the best way for people to bond is through humour. I also get the most hilarious whatsapp messages these days, especially since there's a group of myself, my parents and Syb. Ollie keeps sending us all messages from my moms phone telling us we smell like insert turd emoticon. The other day I got a message from Syb that said something like "did an old dude ever teach you" accompanied by a picture of an elderly gentleman in a tweed suit looking away from her. (He did, if anyone wondered.) Bob sent me a message that said: "remember yo lov your door". No, I do not love my door. Neither does he. He meant "remember to lock your door". Parents and autocorrect, -sigh-. My mother is really enthralled by emoticons lately (defintiely Ollie's doing). She's not very good with them though. I think she meant to send me a kissy face the other day, but I got was a pagoda and a swimming man. I said: "I'm not sure what this means, but thanks for the swimmer. I hope you meant it to be Michael Phelps or Nathan Adrian." She replied: "I am sending you a big house and a swimmer to live in it with." Clearly she has the same dreams for me as I do. 8) Photographs. But we knew that from my instagram. See the photos of my room (and bathroom... apparently I'm one of those people) below. Please note: my bath products are all orange/peach; Mr. Clown is CUTE not scary; my lamp, computer and variety of creams are all pink, and my window is bright and sunny; my desk is free of clutter and has a 'Respiratory Medicine' mind map on it; my bookshelf contains a shelf with puzzle books and a variety of fidgety people toys as well as shelf with my stethescope and a squishy skull; my body butter, night cream and lip balm all come in pink tubs of different sizes. 9)My independence. I've always loved that. I've grown to love it more as it has grown. I like that I can think for myself without being influenced by the thoughts of my family/friends. I like that I don't need to rely on other people to get my happy. (And while I may have a little crush, or not, I'm not that 14 year old who based many choices on crushing.) I like that I'm beginning to figure out what's right for me in numerous aspects of my life. Things are good. I feel a need to remind everyone: life is a journey, but you're not supposed to focus on the destination. If you enjoy the road and go at your own pace, when you get to the destination, whatever it is, you'll be happy, even if it's not necessarily where you intended. Things along the way matter just as much. -[n][a][d][a][&][♥]

I think that life's too short for this.

Sunday, August 12, 2012 Posted In animals , Canada , Dundee , family , friends , future , hair , hotboys , Jeddah , lifesux , Medicine , moaning , Olympics , Scotland , sisters , summer , swimming , tattoos , travelling , University Edit This


	Blow Me by P!nk White knuckles and sweaty palms from hanging on too tight Clenched shut jaw, I've got another headache again tonight Eyes on fire, eyes on fire, and they burn from all the tears I've been crying, I've been crying, I've been dying over you Tie a knot in the rope, tryin' to hold, tryin' to hold, But there's nothing to grasp so I let go I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss) You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit My head is spinning so (blow me one last kiss) Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit day (NO!) Have you had a shit day? (NO!), we've had a shit day (NO!) I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and bliss I think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss. I won't miss all of the fighting that we always did, Take it in, I mean what I say when I say there is nothing left No more sick whiskey dick, no more battles for me You'll be calling a trick, 'cause you'll no longer sleep I'll dress nice, I'll look good, I'll go dancing alone I will laugh, I'll get drunk, I'll take somebody home I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss) You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit My head is spinning so (blow me one last kiss) Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit day (No!) Have you had a shit day? (No!), we've had a shit day (No!) I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and bliss I think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss. Blow me one last kiss Blow me one last kiss I will do what I please, anything that I want I will breathe, I will breathe, I won't worry at all You will pay for your sins, you'll be sorry my dear All the lies, all the why's, will all be crystal clear I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss) You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit My head is spinning so (blow me one last kiss) Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit day (No!) Have you had a shit day? (No!), we've had a shit day (No!) I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and bliss I think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss .……………………………… To be clear, I also think I maybe think too much. My posting frequency appears to have lessened considerably as the summers have passed. In all honesty, I'm not surprised. I definitely didn't expect this blog to last forever. But if I can, I'd like to keep it another 4 years. 4 years because a) by that stage, unless I do a BMsc I should, hopefully, have a medical degree (if I do decide to do a BMsc I'll only have another year left inshallah and that's still pretty damn cool) and b) It will be 2016 and time for the olympics in Rio (which I would like to go to... my dad is in accordance, let's see what happens.) I've already had this blog 3 years and I remember writing some of my very first posts about YSP in Canada. And this year I went back to Canada and wow it was strange to think all that was three fucking years ago. It feels like a lifetime has passed. I'm really not the same person I was back then- I want completely different things all of a sudden. But that's not surprising either. I want completely different things now... than say... last year. In any case, I want to keep up with occasionally writing here because when I went back and read those YSP posts... I had forgotten so much. I mean obviously I remembered the main things, but lots of funny occurrences and things I had thought at the time... I just had no recollection of. So while updates are unlikely to be frequent, I hope that there will in fact be some. I'm sure things will change over the coming years- I'm already growing increasingly cautious with regard to privacy and my online identity. But trust me, it's with good reason. Not gonna lie, I am a really really good facebook stalker. Seriously. Not going to 'fess up to all the really incredibly stalking discoveries of mine, but I will say this- U.S. swim team... I know too much random information about you. I will say no more. It will just get creepy. So my point is- if I can find out stuff about other people, you can find out a whole lot about me. I know that if people are actually reading these posts- they are more likely than not my friends. But I also know that wow you can leave a serious trail of clues on the internet. (Which is why I've gone ahead and taken my last name off twitter.) However, it would still be extremely easy to figure out who/where I am and track down my facebook profile and such things. So this blog shall remain free of all patient related stuff. And so shall my tumblr (with the exception of non-patient-related-witty-banter.. because that stuff is funny.) Ok so now that I've rambled about stupid stuff everyone knows for quite a while, I am going to go on and describe the highlights of the Canada trip. Yes, just the highlights. No more daily diary writing like I did at YSP and in Italy. Pssht. So we kicked off the trip in Montreal. Which was a nice place. The street arrangement reminded me of San Diego. Is that weird? Probably. Normal people most likely see no similarity. Whatever. I have limited experience in North America. So anyways, I like Montreal. Cool place. Just... I don't see what all the fuss is about. A couple of my friends seem to love it and sing it's praises and whatnot... I'm not saying it's not a nice place... just it's not on my top five favourite places at all. Probably not even top 10 :O Oh well. So cool things in Montreal...let's see. Well the hotel was fucking awesome. I mean it was the Ritz so I guess it was going to have to be posh but god I could live in those bathrooms. Really. By the side of the toilet there was this remote control thing with a variety of sprays (for rear cleansing and front cleansing) and a dryer. That's right, a dryer. To dry your bits. I don't know why this is one of the most memorable parts of Montreal for me. Evidently I am finicky about bathroom hygiene. I'm going to stop talking about this now... because it's weird. We also got to experience this Quebec national day thingy parade. Which was cool. But all in French. Which supposedly I understand. And I guess I do... if I pay attention. In any case, with regard to the city itself- I really enjoyed the old part of town. It reminded me of Covent Garden. And if you know me, you know I love Covent Garden for a multitude of reasons. (Like because I went on one of those bungee trampoline things there and did lots of flips and also because I used to always go get my hair thread braided there.) Anyway, it was a cool place. I saw the McGill campus. It was pretty. I am glad my friends live in pretty places. They deserve it. They are pretty inside and out. Anyway, after that we went to Quebec city. (Please note, we went in a tiny plane. Not as tiny as the ones in Tanzania but honestly these were more bumpy. Africa: 1 North America: 0.) Quebec City is nice. (See left upper middle) Not my kinda place to live, I don't think, but still, nice. It reminded me a lot more of Europe. That may or may not have been related to the fact that we stayed in a castle. In any case, I think I was more entertained in QC than Montreal. Anyway, outside our hotel, there was like this 'square' I suppose. And they had loads of street performers. Including these two incredibly hot guys who danced to black betty with fire and rings and shirtlessness. It was around this time that Syb and I started playing a game. The game is as follows. If you see a beautiful house or a hot boy, you nudge your sister with your elbow. (Feel free to nudge hard.) If the sister agrees with you and the house/boy are to her taste, she will nod emphatically. Else she will shake her head and crinkle her nose. We usually agreed. Some things you just cannot deny. Anyhoo. In QC we went to the aquarium. It was cool. There were seals and walruses and polar bears. (See the bottom left corner. Yes that is a polar bear standing up and staring at me. Be jealous.) Honestly, Syb and I (and probably Ollie too) were a considerable amount older than the average individual there. But it was fun. On the bus there (and on the way back actually) there was this group of tourists. I maintain that they were Greek. Bob thinks they were Brasilian. Their language sounded nothing like Spanish... but I have no idea what Brasilian Portugese sounds like at all. Anyway they totally sounded like Tula's parents in my big fat Greek wedding. Syb and I had a stunted conversation with them and they called us beautiful and asked about the "AQUARIA". My hands DOWN favourite thing we did there was go to see Cirque du Soleil. God those people are badass. I am a loser. They can FLY. Honestly it was very much my sort of scene. It was held between these two flyovers and there was no tent it was just sort of in the middle of nowhere. And the music was eerie and cool and the dances were nice and sweet baby Jesus the tumbling and acrobatics those guys do... wow. Insanely cool. I almost want to join the circus. I would also like to say that watching them was entirely free. But I would have payed for that- no Desi stinginess at all. After QC came Ottawa. It was nice. Partly because people were speaking English again. And they were suddenly incredibly friendly. Like Scottish people. Except I knew what they were saying. We did this really cool tour in an amphibus. It's very chitty chitty bang bang. The bus drives around on land for a bit and then drives into the river, on which it floats. The tour guide was so unbelievable cute... but... it was around this time Syb and I discovered that our hot guy/nice house game was going to be without much... well... result... I guess...because wow all gay guys seem to be hot in Canada. A great tragedy for womankind. (Not that Syb or I was going to go up and talk to them what with our parentals trailing along. Ah well.) Ok so aside from that, Ottawa was not that eventful. Except for when Syb was recruited by this extremely British Covent Garden-esque magician that was performing on the street to be his assistance. He was funny. Apparently Canadians do not appreciate the British sense of humour though. Ah well. They do however appreciate the British Queen. The day we were in Ottawa was the day before Canada day and there was a lot of preparation going on for the festivities. And thus there was a woman on stage outside the parliament singing God Save the Queen. Of course, this resulted in me and the parentals belting out the lyrics (to the first verse only, because I am not patriotic enough at all to know the rest of the lyrics.) Syb and Ollie found us embarassing. Whatever. When God Save the Queen is playing you sing along. Just like you sing along to the last two lines of the Star Spangled Banner whenever you hear it being played in the olympics. Which is a lot. After Ottawa came Vancouver. I love Vancouver. It's awesome. (See top right corner) I want to live there. It has everything. It has a very mixed population. It has nice big buildings and a real city. It also has nice big trees and snowy mountains. It also has friendly people. Said friendly people also speak English. Apparently winters are mild there. My only issue was with how many dogs there were. I did not spend much time walking on the pavement. I was always on the road, walking around the dogs. Anyhoo Vancouver. Wow. Lots of awesome things happened there. The first day was Canada day and there was a parade and fireworks. I love fireworks. We did some of the bus tour stuff and it was really fun. Also did some shoppingz. We went to Chinatown where there was this awesome garden with Koi and pagodas and frogs and ducks and waterlilies. See Koi in mist (right lower middle). We also went to Granville Island which had lots of markets and such. We went around Stanley park which is just massive and sooo green. I liked. The view was really awesome (see right upper middle- the Lion's Gate bridge.) One of the days in Vancouver (It was our longest stop) was spent at altitude. First we went up a mountain. Grouse Mountain. We went by Cable care. (Yeah right, like my family would climb up a mountain. Hah.) We got to the top and there were bits of snow everywhere. It was sunny elsewhere. And the view was incredible. They also had a grizzly bear enclosure. (See left lower middle.) Those guys are so cute. I want to hug them. We then ascended further up the mountain in ski lifts. I have never been in a ski lift before. It is scary. Syb and I were freaking out a little. On the way up we started naming all the states in America to distract ourselves. When we got to the very top, there was this windmill thing called the Eye of the Wind. We went up that (it was tall) and the floor beneath us was glass and the view from there was somehow even more incredible. On the way back down in the ski lift, I suggested we sing a song. We chose Cablecar (You know, by The Fray.) This was a bad idea. It starts with the whole 'I never knew that everything was falling through' line. Falling was not a word we wanted to hear. We went back to naming states. They also had a really cool bird show up there with owls and eagles and vultures (which were entirely different from the ones I saw in Tanzania last year.) The same day, after we went down from the mountain after seeing some wolves and all, we went to the Capilano Suspension Bridge. Supposedly a massive tree fell on it in a storm and the bridge was fine but sweet baby Jesus crossing it was scary. It wobbles when there are more people on one side than another. The view of the stream flowing way down beneath it was awesome but I was fucking terrified to reach into my pocket take out my phone and take a picture. I held on the railing for dear life. I'm a wimp, but we knew that. The place is really cool though, there's a whole park around it and you can walk across these wooden bridges through the trees and it feels like you're in Tarzan or in a rainforest or something. (Yeah I know, that totally made sense.) After that, on the very same day, we had a ride on a seaplane. Seaplanes are fucking cool. And flying over Vancouver is wow. There's the city and then you fly across the bay and there's residential area and then you fly a tad more and there's massive trees. And there are so many little islands and they've all got like one massive house on them and that is all. I want my own bloody island. Sugar daddys watch out, gold-diggah me is coming your way. It was really stunning though, the scenery p0rn was amazing. And I was like DEAR GOD YOU ARE AMAZING THIS LANDSCAPE IS SO DIFFERENT TO TANZANIA.Yes I know it's obviously going to be different. But I was still enthralled. We also day-tripped one day to Victoria on Vancouver Island. (It should be noted that this is very different to Victoria Island where apparently mosquitos live and hatch and stuff.) Vancouver Island was so unbelievable different. We drove to the coast in this tour bus (by the way, for some strage reason the guide seemed really attractive to me- he wasn't that good looking and also he was fairly old- but he told good stories?) Anyway said bus, was then driven on to a ferry. Apparently this is not that cool as Mom has been accross the channel like that, but I was amazed. The ferry ride was stunning but I was cold and didn't spend much time on deck. As a result I missed seeing a dolphin my parents supposedly saw the fin of. Victoria feels completely different- it feels more like Europe again. Cool thing: Victoria is below the 49th parallel. We went through American waters to get there and from the island you could see some of the mountains of the Olympic Peninsula. (See bottom right corner) I found this awesome since of late I appear to be fascinated with America. Anyway, we had a wander around Victoria, there was gelato to be had and some cool old buildings covered in leaves. Then we went to the Butchart, where there were loads and loads of beautiful flowers. Sadly I am not a flower person. But I still appreciated the pretty. (See photo at the very bottom). It was a lovely day. As you can see, I fell in love with Vancouver. Which lead to me becoming really glum around the time we had to leave, not just because it was awesome but also for other reasons. More on that later. Next up was Toronto- there was shopping to be done. I remembered a lot of stuff from YSP time there... not directions though. Oops. I met up with S, and wow three years changes a lot. She was still the same in many ways, equally amusing with her blunt way of talking as before. It was strange to think she was teaching at YSP where we had both been 'classmates'. It was also strange that she's now at uni with one of my closest friends. The world is so small but so big as well. We had dim sum. I love dim sum. I had the longest walk ever that day (because I seriously underestimated distances- it reminded me of Rome with L.) After dim sum, S and I had a wander around. We walked through UofT and I saw the halls I stayed in and the medical school and it was so nostalgic. I miss that girl that I was back then. She was so naive. Anyway, I wish I'd gotten to see more of her, or even more of the YSP people, but alas there was not enough time. I tried to lead my family to this market that had been along the harbourfront, but first I got everyone lost and then the market was closed except for weekends. Ah well. We spent a couple of days in Niagara as well. I'd been before but the falls are stunning (See top) and I was thrilled to get to go again. We did the whole maid of the mist boat ride and we also walked behind the falls. We also had dinner one evening at the top of the Skylon tower in the revolving restaurant. It was at that dinner that we finally named all the states we knew. (We were short of two in the end. Oops.) It was strange. I remember when I was a kid and we used to go on holidays- at that time it was just me and Syb, no Ollie. I used to see these families with grown up/teenage kids and I really wanted to grow up. And I realised that evening, because we were all dressed up in dresses and all, that I'm grown up. And not only am I grown up, so is Syb and even Ollie to some extent too. It was strange. Niagara was lovely though, fudge was bought, foosball was played (I was beaten by a 10 year old. Oops.) I remember Niagara being one of my favourite parts of YSP as well. I made a bunch of really cool friends that weekend and good times were had. We were back in Toronto after that. We spent a whole day in Wonderland. That's another of the weekends I really remember enjoying. I got so tanned. I'm oddly pleased I was wearing a low cut top, because otherwise my tanning would be really obvious. I have a fucking glasses tan over the bridge of my nose. I even have a tan from my ring. It looks like I've been married. Jeez. We went on lots of coasters. Not all, but the important ones were ridden. I rode the behemoth. I remember that one from last time. Also, went on this standing up one which was slightly painful on my neck. (My dad made a fuss the entire time about me going on rollercoasters after the whole-falling off a horse fiasco when we were back home. I don't think I mentioned it on here. Basically I went horse riding for the first time and my super nervous steed was spooked by some birds and flung me off. Which was painful on my back and I had to get a shot in the ass and I couldn't bend for a while.) I ignored him though. Roller coasters are for riding. I'm 19 I'm not going to sit around and complain about my back which doesn't really hurt anymore, and I can now put my toes in my mouth again if I really want. (I do not, to be clear.) Anyway, they had this new MASSIVE roller coaster. The Leviathan. See the thing is, these Canadian coasters are much higher than the Thorpe Park ones but they don't have that bar thingy that goes over your boobs. I was actually really grateful I'm not skinny and couldn't just... fall out. Anyway, Syb, Mom and I went on that one. We were sat next to this kid who was like Ollie's age. It was his second go on it. He said "it's not that bad." Honestly, it wasn't. But I screamed like hell of course, because hellllo when you're shooting down a 306 foot drop what the fuck else are you going to do? No fucking way was I going to be waving my hands in the air. We decided that once was enough, but the kid decided he wanted to go again. Such a little badass. It was a fun day, to say the least. The last day in Toronto we went up the CN tower which was funsies. I mean I'd done it before, but hey, it's still cool. (See the view top left corner.) We flew back (to LDN) from Toronto. I was really very down I think after that. London was boring, the Olympics had not started, people were not around. Magic Mike was seen. A Dunds day trip was taken. Meh. Why the meh? Well, after Vancouver I got into this whole meh mood because I suddenly felt like shit my life is going by so incredibly fast and am I actually doing the cool things I want to do- like having my entire head blue, having dreadlocks, learning the drums, playing in a band, learning to skateboard, waitressing- just random stupid shit that I feel would make me happy. I'm in my last teenage year and I really felt like by the time I'm done with med school I'll be too old to do all this. It also felt a little shitty that I wasn't really going to have those fabled fun years (which always look incredibly cool at North American universities.) I don't know I was just feeling old and unsatisfied and soo meh. I told my friend all this and he reminded me that summer was the time for such things. And while I agreed of course and knew he was right, and that the things I want to do can be done in summertime, I still wasn't completely over the meh. To some extent watching the olympics worsened the meh. You may have guessed my my numerous mentions of the olympics. (Especially the USA men's swimming- although please, do not forget the German's men's gymnasts and Tom Daley who I remember fangirling about when I was 15 and he was 14. Can I also just say, the fact that he's younger than me makes me feel shitty.) Seeing lots of people who were my age or younger or you know not all that old competing in their sports and being awesome made me feel really meh. And my love for a certain Mr.Adrian meant that I did rather a lot of reading about him and wow his life in the American collegiate system seemed cool. I don't know if I'm explaining this very well. Let us speak of Tony Ervin. He did the olympics way back in 2000 and then suddenly felt like it was infringing on his freedom so he left and joined a band and got sleeves inked and all. I feel a bit like that. I don't exactly want to run a way and give it all up, I just get where he's coming from. I'm not unhappy at uni. The past year I've just been content. I mean honestly I don't think I took a very active role in my own life. I just sort of floated through half asleep and daydreaming. I was lucky in that I made friends (and nice ones too- I mean not the best I've ever had :P- but nice enough since I'm living with 2 next year), in part due to the presence of M and also in that I passed my exams, because honestly when I was studying, I couldn't remember a lot of my lectures happening. It's a good thing I'm really good at the whole self-study thing. Basically what I'm saying is that I wasn't upset or anything. But I also wasn't happy. I was content. And sort of just waiting for happiness to fall into my lap. I had this expectation that it would, because well... all my life it's sort of seemed like in university shit happened. My parents talked about university a lot and always stressed the importance of getting into a good one and all that jazz. It's also where they met. I guess I thought that sort of thing would fall into my lap too. It's funny, there's this cute boy at uni, and sometime I mention him to M and the others. But one day M and I were talking and she was like... I don't think you actually like him. And I don't. I think in that respect I was just sort of cruising a long as well sort of indifferent to everything. Funnily enough, it was only when back in J-town and discussing another individual who does not seem particularly enthralled by uni-life with the girls that I realised that I'm being stupid. How the fuck can I expect happiness to fall into my lap? I'm being silly. First I have to decide what going to make me happy- and christ, it doesn't have to be a definitive thing- of course my aspirations are always going to be changing... I just need to decide on something and then work towards it properly. Pssht. Those fuckhot bodies didn't exactly just fall into the laps of those team USA swimmers. They pumped lots of iron. If I want my happy I'm going to have to go look for it. First of all- sure, Medical School in the UK means some of the things that may have made me happy -like the freedom to do more crazy stupid things- are not really feasible. But I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I'm so fucking awkward I'm never going to be a party animal. I'm clumsy and unfit and have terrible hand-eye co-oridination. If the Adrian style opportunities were there would I even be taking them? Pretty sure the answer is no. I'm also pretty sure those sort of opportunities do exist at Dunds. I just haven't really made an effort to go find them. Anyway as a result of my decision to make myself happy I have decided several things. Firstly, I want to take up at least one 'sport' properly. As in I'll go every week. At this point, I like the sound of archery (and A said she would go with me- I'm not gutsy enough to do stuff alone.) There's also trampolining which I believe A's sister does. I was also thinking about horse riding, because L does that, and honestly I really want to be able to ride a horse- but I'm a little more nervous about it after my fall. I also feel like pole dancing would be cool but HAHAHA ME USING MY THIGHS TO HANG OFF A POLE. Let's see. Another thing I want to do is learn to drive. Because my parents are the best and will probably let me have my own car. I like the freedom that gives me. Next up, I want to go to more international soc. events. I have no issue with Scottish people they're lovely and friendly and funny but that's probably a more likely place to meet Mr. Me. Meeting him is not a requirement. I'm not desperate at all and that's not something I ever want to force because hey this is a very naive view but Elizabeth Bennet never forced such things. Also I think I need to start reading my uni emails more and signing up to things without waiting for my friends to do so. I'm also pretty certain of the tattoo(s) I want. And I want to get them sooner rather than later, along with finally getting my ear pierced some more. I just need someone to go with (I don't think M or H or A or L or any of those guys are the right people for it) so I'm working on figuring that out. What else... oh yes here's a big one. My ff obsession needs to be curtailed. It's probably good that I've pretty much read all the good PandP coughandtwilightcough ones out there. No more reading late at night. We know what happens as a result- falling asleep in lectures. It's not pretty. When I need that outlet to get away from my life and live happily ever after I have an outlet. It is constructive to some extent and I also know I'm never going to get addicted to it. Too much effort needed. This outlet is secret and you will never ever find it unless you are one of two people, and I don't think you are because I don't think either of those two read this blog. Hah. I also feel like I haven't been as close to the God I believe in lately. And I miss God. I want to be close to God again. Oh also, I should fucking study more. We discovered at Soaks, I'm actually pretty good at that. So there. Those are basically my new (school) year's resolutions. And when I start to forget them or go off them or get bored as I usually do, I will do one of the following: a) watch some olympic swimming and remind myself that it's too late for that, but I should still do what I can and work for my happy or b) talk to one of the people I have mentioned this shit to, because they are helpful and sometimes when you're giving advice or berating someone else you realise you should probably practice what you preach. If you managed to read all this, I am in awe. This is probably going to have to last another... 4 months. If you know me and you've read this and I now go on to forget my resolutions you bloody well should remind me. That is all. **EDIT: I just found out my cousin is off to Oxford. (Yay! He deserves it and it suits him.) I'm not jealous. And I'm really proud of myself for being happy with the path I'm on and I'm going to make the most of it. -[n][a][d][a][&][♥]

i'm taking a mental picture ~

Monday, August 08, 2011 Posted In Africa , animals , family , Holiday , OneRepublic , parents , sisters , summer , Tanzania , travelling , Zanzibar Edit This


	Good Life by OneRepublic Woke up in London yesterday Found myself in the city near Piccadilly Don't really know how I got here I got some pictures on my phone New names and numbers that I don't know Address to places like Abbey Road Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want We're young enough to say Oh this has gotta be the good life This has gotta be the good life This could really be a good life, good life Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight Like this city is on fire tonight This could really be a good life A good, good life To my friends in New York, I say hello My friends in L.A. they don't know Where I've been for the past few years or so Paris to China to Col-or-ado Sometimes there's airplanes I can't jump out Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e What there is to complain about When you're happy like a fool Let it take you over When everything is out You gotta take it in Oh this has gotta be the good life This has gotta be the good life This could really be a good life, good life Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight Like this city is on fire tonight This could really be a good life A good, good life Hopelessly I feel like there might be something that I'll miss Hopelessly I feel like the window closes oh so quick Hopelessly I'm taking a mental picture of you now 'Cuz hopelessly The hope is we have so much to feel good about Oh this has gotta be the good life This has gotta be the good life This could really be a good life, good life Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight Like this city is on fire tonight This could really be a good life A good, good life Oh yeah Good, good life Good life Ooh Listen My friends in New York, I say hello My friends in L.A. they don't know Where I've been for the past few years or so Paris to China to Col-or-ado Sometimes there's airplanes I can't jump out Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e What there is to complain about ………………………………………… So after being home for a month and a bit and pottering about seeing my friends before they all depart for the summer and then uni etc. we had a family vay-cay to Tanzania (and Zanzibar, with a stop in Dubai as well). I don't think we've properly travelled and explored new territory in a few years so this trip was nice and welcome. One of the best aspects was the fact that my parents didn't argue nearly as much as they do when at home so yayy. S and I did fight a lot more than usual but I would put that down to the fact that we were living in really close proximity (sharing rooms etc) and without other distractions and it hadn't been that way with us since we were kids back in the old house. Anyhow as I am not feeling particularly vocal this shall be in list form. Places we went in Tanzania (this list shall include Zanzibar but not Dubai as that's boring): 1. Dar es Salaam (literally a stopover) 2. Arusha (abundant with coffee, not so animalish) We stayed at Arusha Coffee Lodge. 3. Lake Manyara 4. Ngorongoro Crater (the lodge was on the crater and at a high altitude and thus cold. there were animals within the crater itself) Here, we stayed at Crater Lodge, which was insanely fancy and awesome. 5. The Serengeti (both the more southern part, near ngorongoro and the northern parts called the Serengeti Mara which boreder with Kenya's Masai Mara, which we had visited several years ago and enjoyed. this was a vast expanse of plains towards the south, and to the nortth there was the river Mara and more grasslands) In the more southern part we stayed at Bilila Lodge Kempinski, and in the more nothern part we stayed at Nomad Lamai Serengeti, which was more terrifying as it was not a proper lodge per say, but rather a permanent tented camp. And let's not try and pretend that I'm brave enough to face insects. 6. Tarangire (This was a slightly more wooded area) Here we stayed at another permanent type tented camp, Oliver's Camp. 7. Zanzibar, where we stayed at Breezes. It's oddly like being at home. People wear thoubs and speak Arabic. There are also cats randomly wandering the streets, like in Breezes there was this cute one that we played with and as well as that people sell random birds on the street. Like there were some men selling this Hedwig-like Snowy Owl. Admittedly it probably wasn't a snowy owl in Zanzibar, but it was a white owl all the same. Cutie pie. I wanted to buy it and free it, but it seemed hopeless as they'd just catch it again. I also acquired a really huge contrasting shorts tan. Below, I have outlined some of the most memorable moments on our trip. The more positive ones. Or if not positive, stories I shall tell my grandchildren/ great nieces and nephews, whatever the case may be. 1. Seeing all the Big 5. That is to say Rhinos (black rhinos, as the white are no longer found in Tanzania- of which there are VERY few remaining in the wild, and they are very highly protected), Lions, Elephants, Buffalo and most fantastically, the elusive Leopard (pronounced lee-oh-pahd) 2. Watching a leopard cub chase guinea fowl, like a cat among the pidgeons, causing them to squawk and fly about. 3. Being charged at by a VERY angry male elephant who really did not appreciate the noise of our jeep starting up. Apparantly in Tarangire, where this happened, there are a number of game reserves where big shots (quite literally as well) go and hunt elephants. This leaves the elephants rather disgruntled (imagine someone shooting at you and your family) and leaves an emotional scar. 4. Seeing the aftermath of a Lions vs. Leopard cat fight. As I said leopards are rare, and so this trip, being particularly inundated with leopard moments, was awesome. Please note the plural use of lions. They ganged up on a poor leopard and chased her up a tree. Her belly was injured in the process. When she escaped, she was so close to our vehicle we had to be silent. 5. Seeing a sexless wildebeest. Poor thing didn't have an udder or a pair of balls. 6. Watching a wildebeest migration. This involves thousands of wildebeest crossing a river, and in the process some dying. Here is the video I recorded of this momentous occasion, which many wait days to see. 7. Watching a falcon swoop in and kill a guinea fowl. 8. Having our camp's ice cooler filled with refreshments stolen by a pack of hyenas while the residents were having dinner. This was at Oliver's. 9. Discovering a buffalo under our balcony. Twice. And once it had brought along it's Zebra friends. This was in Crater Lodge. 10. Having a butler. Who would fill up a bath for you. SERIOUSLY REGENCY TIMES. This was in Crater Lodge too. I am a brat. Our butler was Peter and he was awesome. 11. Discussing Achebe's Thing's Fall Apart with our Masai guide, Masaa. That guy was something else. Seriously. He was one of those interesting, charismatic people who just has a wealth of random facts to keep you entertained. That was at Serengeti Lamai. 12. Meeting an Austrian family who had literally conquered all the continents. Except maybe Antarctica. But I'm not sure about that. They'd been to Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Mozambique, Ethiopia and idk where else. I found them so cool. And the dad was super friendly. And the daughter was seriously scared of bugs like me, in fact one night at dinner she just took off her shirt because she thought there was a bug in it. I can totally empathise. 13. The following conversation between my sister and our guide for most of the trip, Jackson. Ali (looking at an animal): "Oooh are these the ones in Madagascar 2?" Jackson (our guide): "Actually I am not sure, maybe they have them in Madagascar also, but these are found in Kenya and Tanzania" Ali (highly discombobulated that he is not aware of the movie, and very indgnant): "NOO.... I mean like the movie?!" My sister and Jackson bumped heads a couple of times, especially when Jackson told us about the common giraffe, gazelle and zebra and Als went : why is everything COMMON?! 14. Seeing a pink and purple lizard and realising I wish I was that colour. 15. Watching a heard of elephants cross the road. A huge herd. Of maybe 30 individuals, with really old ones and really tiny month old baby ones as well. 16. Feeding breakfast bread to a Marabou Stork from the window of the lodge's restaurant at Farmhouse, one of the lodges I forgot to mention above in Arusha. Please not Marabou Storks are huge. They are properly 5ft tall. I think these may have been my favourite birds of the trip, although the lizards and snake -eating , red-eyed secretary birds were pretty cool. As were the falcons and eagles. And the Kori Bustard just because of it's name. And the Hornbills (zazu is a type of hornbill. the red ones we saw were the coolest though). the guinea fowl were slightly annoying though. The flamingos, pelicans and the little white birds that picked on buffalo backs were cool as well. 17. Elephants trudging into the pond by the hotel pool at Bilila and drinking from it, whilst we watched from the restaurant window. 18. Going on a glass-bottom kayak in Zanzibar. 19. Seeing Freddy Mercury's, (or as he is known there Farouk Bulsara) house in Zanzibar by the stone town. 20. Having competitions in the car to see who knew the most Swahili (Ali always one as she cheated and has seen the Lion King most recently- also you couldn't repeat other people's words so she used ours up first.) and trying to name the Big 5, Small 5, Green 5 etc. My least favourite aspects of the trip. 1. Bugs. These I find terrifying. They were everywhere and oh god not just little moths properly HUGE spiders. When I took a shower (outdoors this is) there was a bee that really liked the soap. And wouldn't leave me alone. This was AWFUL and probably the fastest shower ever. Also I made my dad tuck the mosquito nets underneath the mattress of my bed in Nomad so that I was trapped and bugs were trapped out. In Oliver's we also found a MASSIVE dung beetle under my bed. Yuck. In Tarangire, oh my god the number of times I was bitten by Tsetse flies was insane. Please note that whereas mosquito bites are painless, Tsetse bites hurt like a bitch. it's like being stabbed with a tiny needle. I also got bitten by a wasp again on the neck, thanks to Ali trying to shoo it when I told her to leave it be. 2. Taking a dump in the bush. This is known as a bush stop. This is embarrassing and uncomfortable under normal circumstances but even more so if you've eaten something which has disagreed with you, which in Africa is fairly likely. 3. The smell of hippo shit. We went to a hippo bathing pool and good grief all they do is fart and shit and lounge around in their own shit. WHICH SMELLS AWFUL. Finally, here is a list of cute animals I now covet as a pet if I am not allowed a kitten. 1. Kirk's Dikdiks. They ARE SO CUTE. They are these tiny little deer type creatures with the biggest eyes you have ever seen. They also mate for life and travel in pairs along with their offspring. 2. Thompson's Gazelle. They have these cute little tails that continuously wag and they are adorable. Sorry other forms of antelope, you were not cool enough to make the list- Grant's Gazelle (the McDonalds of the serenget- there's even a big M on their bums), Topis, Kudus and Hart Beasts, you were too big to be cute. 3. Servals. One walked RIGHT past our car. SO CUTE. 4. Cheetahs. We saw one just sat there by the side of the road. 5. Crocodiles. Idk why, bit their conniving grins are just too cool. 6. Zebras. I want to ride one as a form of transport. They're so cool and stripy. 7. Giraffes. Ever since we fed them in Kenya I have loved them and their purple tongues. 8. Hyraxes. These funny rodent like creatures that are somehow the closest relative of the elephant. No joke. 9. Baboons. I know, I know. Awful vicious creatures found in Taif no less. But it's so cute how the mamas carry these tiny babes around. We also saw blue monkeys and red colobus monkeys in Zanzibar and another type the name of which escapes me at the moment, all of which were pretty cool. 10. A marabou stork to feed bread to. Sadly they don't mate for life. I like animals that mate for life, like fishing Eagles. They make me feel better about my prospects. Especially if they're ugly animals. Anyway, this I have to say was one of the coolest family holidays ranked up there with our malaysia/spore trip, our malaysia/hk trip and our kenya trip. Next I would like to see Australia, Sweden, Japan or really anywhere new and not boring :P -[n][a][d][a][&][♥]

¬ foggy London town’s not built for me or y o u .

Thursday, July 29, 2010 Posted In Bramingham , disabilities , EE , friends , Grey's Anatomy , hospital , IB , movies , Ramadan , school , shopping , sisters , summer , theatre , travelling , work Edit This

Little Miss Pipedream

by The Wombats

I think the postman intercepts everything I try and send to you
'Cos he's infatuated and he's the fulcrum between us two
And I can't say I blame him 'cos I'd cheat a priest just to get to you

She works in a dental practice 9 'till 5 how does she manage?
Considering her nights don't pass out 'till 3
So I guess that flossing is he last thing in her health routine

And I don't mind that she gets hammered and goes home with other guys
There's no jealousy 'cos she's little pipedream fantasy

I saw her slam back tequilas like Oliver Reed on an Irish stag doo
And I'll wait if you stay because foggy London town's not built for me or you
Don't leave Miss Pipedream 'cos I love you

And I don't mind that she gets hammered and goes home with other guys
There's no jealousy though she'll grind it out with friends but not with me
She's my little miss pipedream fantasy

It’s fiiinally SUMMER (: I’m soo relieved. Don’t get me wrong, this year has been amazing as well. I feel like I made the right decision going to Sevenoaks. My IB grades my have been the same at Conti, or perhaps even better- in the sense that it’s not as if my grades are going to measure up to my genius friends’ who are still back there- but I think I made a good choice. I’ve learned so much and grown up a whole lot- (I can do laundry, grocery shopping, internet banking, train hopping and I know that trust has to be earned and is very easily lost)- I may not seem at all different but I know I think differently. The year has FLOWN by, but it hasn’t been effortless AT ALL.

I knew from last summer that living with people is not easy no matter how great your friendship is. And that was just a month. This has been a whole YEAR. And there a couple of people who have managed to SERIOUSLY PISS ME OFF towards the end. Luckily a couple of others have been amaaazing. I’d just like to say though, that just because I’m generally laid-back and easy-going does NOT mean you can take advantage of my chilaxedness.

The end of term was nice other than coursework deadlines. EE day was fun, I really loved my lil funghi! ToK presentations was stressful but it’s nice to feel like you’ve accomplished something when the jobs are done. CAS completed too! And we’ve all got a pretty good idea of our predictions now :/ .We played a lot with the BHM’s kids and the ABHM’s kids and the new ABHM’s kids. Aaand I won a Bio Prize- granted it was just a lame merit one, so I didn’t get it at prize-giving on Founder’s Day but I was hella pleased. My rooming next term looks good as well, Michaelmas I pretty much have my own room except that C’s room is inside mine so it’s soooort of like sharing. And Lent I have my owwn sunny room with a sink. Yayy (:

The summer has started off well. I spent the first few days with Nanaboo and that was nice as Situ buys nice cherries and apricots. Though they’re taste in restaurants is pretty lame :P . I began shadowing Fuad Chacha in Guildford and that was AMAZING. Staying with Nanaboo was funny because he’d get really concerned for no reason. One morning before heading off to Guildford I left the flat earlier than usual, simply because I was done getting ready earlier. Apparantly he got reeaally worried and woke everyone up to look for me. Ahahaha. Then parents and sisters came, and the dadu came which as always was a slight source of tension. Ah well. The I went off to Luton to do more work experience there.

Soo Guildford. It was sooo amazing. FC is an interventional radiologist. I spent a lot of time following him around which was cool because while his job comes with slightly more mundane tasks like CT, MRI and X-ray reporting and doing Ultrasounds, he also does procedures like putting in Groshan Lines and PEGs and NG tubes and even more excitingg Embolisation of Fibroids! But he also arranged some time for me elsewhere. I spent some time at a Gynae Clinic with a Mr.Diab. I was of course over-excited that he was Arab (Egyptian as it turned out) and furthermore pleased when he recognised my name as being from Arabic. He was a slightly cold man, and most of his patients in the cinic were anxious women. I met in his clinic a Med Student from Prague. Who told me about her Uni and her friend who had a baby in her 3rd year at Med School but Came 3rd in the Year while pregnant and 1st in the year once the kid was born ahahaha. Also I spent some time in the CT room and saw some CT colonscopies where they basically stick a tube into the poor souls back passage and inflate them. I also spent some time in the Endoscopy Unit which was pretty cool. The doctors seemed to enjoy laughing at patients who were not around or unconscious :P. Saw tubes going in both ends there. That was my first week. Second week was equally fab if not better. I got to go to Oncology and SHADOW THIS GREY’S ANATOMY LADY. Dr.Stuart. She was so cool. She looked like a cross between Meredith Grey and Arizona Robbins. And she was hardcore. I saw her do a Radiotherapeutic Procedure on this lady with Cervical cancer and it was soo hardcooore. And then I was in her Oncology Clinic and it was amazing to see how she dealt with the patients giving them good new and really really bad news. ( I thought I was going to cry at one point when she told this woman who was in sever pain because of cancer in her lymphnodes in her leg, that the radiotherapy and chemotherapy they’d done for her had made no difference, and her metastasis were just growing and basically there was nothing they could do except try and ease the pain. It was all made worse because her mother had juuuust found a tumour in her own breast and was having a mastectomy.) In oncology I also met Dr.Saleh. Again I was overexcited as he was Arab. He asked me if I knew what my name meant, which of course I did since other than my mother telling me, my name in Arabic used to be written on the Johnson Baby Cologne and the English meaning used to be written under it :) . Anyway he was Iraqi. I liked him he was also pretty cool. And quite Grey’s like, all the nurses flirting with him ahaha. The doctors were pretty funny, at one point I was sitting in a room with Farid, Jermaine (an Afro-Caribbean Consultant) and another Afro-Caribbean Consultant. Farid was staring at the other one who was wearing a black shirt with white stripes. And the guy goes “What you staring at, man? Have you never seen a black man before?” and Jermaine goes “No he just hasn’t seen TWO black men before” and so the other guy says “Hey, what’s your probem Chemical Ali” (please note, Ali pronounce Aa-lee) and Farid says “Nothing, it’s just your shirt, I thought you’d done some skin painting or something.” One of the afternoons when there was interventional radiology, this old fellow cam to have an NG tube put in from the ITU and he just suddenly stopped breathing on the table. There was a crash cart and everything, and they were pushing atrophine and adrenaline and idk what. The next day I spent in ITU where I made more friends. There was a Paki doctor doing her fellowship and she was really nice, and a Med Student from Southampton in her fifth year, and she examined a guy with Pneumonia and she let me listen to his crackles! The consultant there wasn’t as cool but her underlings were really nice. I got to see an arterial canula being put in and there was al this blood spurting it was pretty awesome. I also a woman who smokes 100 cigarettes per day (no joke) and apparently around her house she had buckets and buckets for her sputum. The next day, Mr.Diab, who appeared to have taken a shining to me, invited me to his OR and I saw a C-section! At one stage I was worried that I was going to faint, and the anaesthesiologist told me “if you start to feel light-headed SIT ON THE FLOOR”. But I didn’t want to sit on the floor, you can’t see ANYTHING from the floor. So i just hung on to the wall ahahaha. It was pretty brutal, Mr.Diab was basically ripping her uterus open on the way in. And then BAM all of a sudden he’s in and there’s a head and then there’s a baby. Which immediately started screaming. It was a she. Then they took out the afterbirth and put it on a platter. And by that stage I wasn’t woozy any longer so I went closer and hovered over as he sewed up the different layers comprised of her uterus and the lining and the fat and the skin. WAH SO COOL. But enough to convince me abstinence is the way! forever! Anyway then this consultant from A&E came to ask FC about the x-ray of some guy who was a Tree-Surgeon (I have never before heard of this term) and fell out of the Tree and basically snapped his ulna so that the head of the bone was at ninety degrees to the rest of it. When he explained who I was she asked if I wanted to come over to A&E. of course I did! It was not very eventful, alas. There was a guy with a bee sting. And also a 99 year old man who had fallen off his chair at home and had been brought in and was totally disgruntled and kept trying to run away. By the end of it, as well as making friends with the students and some of the younger consultants and the Arabs I was pretty chummy with the nurses who I was scrubbing in with. (I LOVE SCRUBS BTW. I don’t even mind that they smell weird.) Overall Guildford was WOW.

The next week I was in Luton, at a Day Care for people with learning disabilities. At first I thought it was going to be kids, like at the Help Centre. But it was so different. They weren’t kids they were all adults, which made it even sadder in some ways. And the first 6 days I was in the unit known as Neptune. They were the most severely disabled. They were all in chairs, unable to walk and furthermore they can’t communicate. So at first you feel like they’re babies, drinking from doidy cups if they are able. And when it hits’ you that they’re not babies at all, with the youngest being in their 20s or 30s and the oldests reaching their 60s it’s just so heart wrenching. But they’re so lovely, you can’t help but adore them. I got to see PEGs that I’d seen put in in Guildford in use, and I actually was allowed to, in secret, do a flush myself. (don’t tell Health and Safety). At times it’s a bit awkward in that you don’t know what to call these people, I kept wanting to say “the kids”, but they’re not at all. And they’re not students either because strictly speaking it’s not a school. So I had to call the customers. I had favourites of course, Alan, who I think was probably the most able, and communicate to some extent- and then Jason, who smelled odd because he drooled a lot, but idk why I just took to him. They had a “Fun Day” where we did some wheel-chair races while I was there. And then one day we went to the Afro-Caribbean Centre there, which was basically a place for the elderly Afro-Caribbean community to chill. We took Lyds and Shazza and people kept mistaking them for kids- it was so sad to say stuff like, oh no, she’s not 2, she’s 32. And stuff like that. I made friends with the staff at the centre as well, and the Jamaican ladies really liked me. They’re so funny I love how they talk. The last day I was with a different group, Mars. Their primary carer was a lady called Najwa. (More Arab overexcitement. I’d just like to say when I see Arabs in London or something I avoid them. It seems I am following that old Green Day song “I wanna be the Minority”) . Anyway in Mars they were making their own tea and playing football with me (actually most of them where a whole lot better than me). They were lovely as well. I was asked to make this poor guy some tea, and me, the least house-wifey person on EARTH, had never made tea before. From instant coffee I had a vague idea that you did tea bag and sugar, and then hot water and then milk. But I didn’t really know about the proportions , especially since I like my coffee weaaaaak and sweeeet. So poor Andrew’s tea was practically milk. It was so white. I felt sooo bad, but I was just praying that he’d drink it up before anyone saw it. Poor Andrew couldn’t talk either and couldn’t even complain. Actually I was curious to know what the customers at Bramingham’s disorders and syndromes were, but they don’t generally keep a record. Lydis had Rett’s Syndrome, and I could tell some like Imad had down’s syndrome from their appearance. But I couldn’t tell with Andrew. But not long after, in the book I was reading, it mentionned Angelman’s syndrome and had a description about the characteristics of those who suffered from it, and I realised Andrew fit the profile.

So other than work experience I’ve been doing the fun stuff to. I got to see a couple of my biffles from Jeddah and one of my childhood friends who’d since moved and HONEYY (: and also some of my mom’s friends who I like. And we did the cool stuff like eating at Rainforest Cafe and Princi and Hard Rock Cafe and other places. Pictures on my tumblr. Went to Primark and somehow survived, gaining a good deal of shopping. We also went to see Eclipse, Toy Story 3 and Les Miserables, And there are plans to see Cats and Dogs 2 and Tap Dogs and possibly Inception.

Alas, I wish, since I’m not really doing anything useful in this coming week, we could have gone home earlier, but at that stage I thought I’d need all this time. I’ll only have 3 weeks at home and it will be Ramadan and as I havent started my EE at all or my Chem CW or my 111 Math Qs or my revision for my Chem Test or even UKCAT prepping I’m basically screwed. (:

On that note, I think I will sign off.

-[n][a][d][a][&][♥]

YSP- Week 1

Tuesday, July 07, 2009 Posted In Canada , Desi , DJ Tiesto , food , friends , hair , hair dye , Medicine , parents , physiology , shopping , sisters , summer , travelling , UofT Edit This

Let me back up for a bit, and describe the past week or so. Soo, last Saturday I got to Toronto. The entire journey was RIDICULOUSLY long. I had to hold pee sooo many times for fear of using the public toilets. First we went to Riyadh on a BMI flight, it was slightly delayed. And we started off at 1am. Following this we waited in Riyadh about an hour or so. Then we flew to London, which took 6 hours +. There was a 4 hour transit at Heathrow, where I watched the French film, Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain ("The Fabulous Destiny of Amélie Poulain"). It was a nice movie, although there were several explicit scenes. In the entiiiire journey, I watched He’s Not That Into You, Dog Hotel and some 30 Rock episodes. Nothing fantastic.

Then there was an 8 hour + journey to Toronto. So by the time me and Bob reached the hotel 24hours had passed. We walked around a fair bit the first day, we went to this festival at the harbour, which we looked around for a very short while. There was some picturesque scenery, and basically we just walked and walked. Which resulted in my baby toenail jamming itself in to the toe next to it and causing it to bleed. Yay >_< . Since I didn’t make a great deal of fuss, Bob didn’t really pay attention and I was in immense pain by the time we returned. The reason Bob came with me to Toronto was to make sure I got there in one piece. I feel this is an illegitimate reason. Firstly because he indirectly caused my toes to be injured, and secondly because Bob likes to walk fast. I do not. This means I tend to get left behind. Bob walks at a brisk pace and generally has a hurried air and therefore does not look back to see if I am still there and have not been abducted by some serial killer driving an ice-cream van. Also, it’s not like I’m physically or mentally handicapped, I can read the signs in an airport perfectly well. That night Bob took my to the CN tower, we had a look through the glass floor and ate dinner at the CN 360, which was incredibly posh and expensive (i felt guilty after). I was nowhere near suitably dressed. I’d fallen asleep when we came back from our walk, and woke up right before we were supposed to leave. I hadn’t had a shower, and didn’t want to waste clean clothes on my dirty aeroplane self so I simply wore black really baggy trousers, a t-shirt and hoodie. It looked like pyjamas. As it was a Saturday night most of the people there were couples all very formally dressed. It was cold and I stole Bob’s blazer from him. I was pleased as this kept me warm and was fashionable-ish and made my outfit more formal. However I was horrified when the waiter referred to me as “young man”. I’m hoping he meant to say “young ma’am” or suffered severely from dementia. Anyways it was nice and there were fireworks. Second day there with bob we had the morning together, during which we went and had a look at Eaton Centre. I bought Manic Panic Hot Hot Pink UV radiant hair dye. I probably never got a chance to mention but before I left I had bleached coontails into my hair. I didn’t use hair beach so they only went to an orangey-brown even after several hours. They looked like tiger stripes. Anyways I messily died these pink in the hotel bathroom. They don’t look pink, they look more purpley-red

but they were meant to be pink and it doesn’t show so well in pictures. Then I had to go to the residence and get checked in. As it turned out I was indeed sharing with M :) . So, on that first Sunday basically we just wandered around the place meeting people an what not. As we wandered around I noticed S so I said to M, “how long do you think it will be until he comes after us?” and literally as SOON as I said this he popped up behind us. This caused me to laugh excessively. So then this stupid chick who was standing with us asked me “do you like your friend? because you keep laughing at his jokes.” 1) WHAT JOKE? 2)what a stupid conclusion to jump to. >_< . At lunch I made 2 friends, D and A. (An American Mexican and a Chinese-Canadian). They were nice, and we explored the basement together. We got really rather lost, and scared the life out of ourselves because we decided to turn around and leave the way we came when we realised we had no clue where we were going, so we tried this pink door we THOUGHT we had entered from. It was LOCKED. We had a little panic. :P But managed to get out of there alive. Later they split us into groups with counsellors. My counsellor was very amusing, and told us he had once tried to escape from the YSP to Chinatown :P I made another friend, V (Canadian Indian). Some other girls from her school had come as well. S is extremely popular here, even on the first day. It makes no sense to me. It’s very unlike school. When I said I was from Saudi, they were all like “OMG do you know S?!”. I found this so strange. He wasn’t even in the group and everyone was talking about him. Haha. M and I were a little weepy at night, missing home and it’s cleanliness and what not.

The next day was Monday, we were forced to awaken early at like 7am. Ew. We didn’t really eat breakfast and we ran to the meeting spot. From there they walked us to the university where we had a lecture at 9am. I can’t really recall what it was about I was too sleepy, but something to do with Physiology (it’s Physiology week) and more specifically lab safety and homeostasis.We were then split into teams, I got Purple with S (One of the team leaders reminds me of Drew Barrymore). Then we had a practical in which we took blood pressure in different situations. Several times, me and S found that we had no pulse and were dead. –sigh-. After this we had another lecture. The speaker was a German professor, who spoke about the circulatory system and other transport systems. He was interesting. I liked his speaking style. Unfortunately I was too tired to fully appreciate the lecture. He spoke of the Oktoberfest which I found amusing, and his presentation was nice. After this we had a practical where we did blood-typing. This was immense fun, even though it involved pricking oneself and I’m a wimp. I’m an O+ which is the Universal Donor :) unfortunately I’m not a Universal Receptor :( . We also looked at the circulation in a anaesthetised frog. I was quite scared it would wake up and jump at me, but it was cool as you could clearly see it’s blood flowing. That evening we went into our counsellor groups and there was a scavenger hunt. It was fun. I made a few more friends K, L and a couple more. It was rather fun. We had to take pictures of us jumping in front of a coffee stand, playing leapfrog across a street and I climbed into a fountain. It was rather fun, even though my feet killed after. (Loads of walking. We had to follow a man with a dog and take a picture of it. Ew.) Our group did not win unfortunately :( . Me and L walked to the nearby convenience store that evening. (Taiwanese Canadian doing Law). We were so exhausted when returned to our room that M and I did not feel like getting up to brush our teeth, so we formulated our plan. We used my mouthwash to clean our mouths and spat the remainders in her empty milk bottle. We then STRONGLY considered disposing of it via the window, however M felt this would be illegal. I got up again later and peed and brushed my teeth though.

Tuesday we discovered coffee. More specifically Tim Horton’s. (a Canadian brand I’ve never heard of who sell a good French Vanilla for a cheaper price than Starbucks and have a stall in the Medicine building :) .) We had a lecture in the morning by a professor who really reminded me of good old Mr.Burnley of Conti, speaking in the same monotone voice with a similar British accent. His lecture was on blue babies. It was reasonably interesting. Then our practical was to do with Ventilation rates and Lung volumes. It was alright. After Lunch our lecture was on a more boring topic, however I was far more alert and took notes. It was about diabetes. We then did a practical about Weight, by filling in information about our daily eating habits and energy using activities as well as our age and sex etc. A computer program factored this in and told us how much we ought to consume to maintain our wait. It told me to eat more, so I’m sure it’s inaccurate. If I was a guy, I would be less fat. –scowl- . After class the evening activity was the CN tower (which I’d been to with Bobbo) but we took more pictures and had a better look around. I even ventured onto the glass floor, refusing to look down however.

On Wednesday our first lecture was AWESOME. It was about the Brain and memory, by an Oriental doctor who had graduated from U of T himself. His presentation was really amusing, (it showed his experiments with mice, and him playing confusing tricks on them – no worries animal activists, no harm done). His speaking style was very nice as well, and his jokes were actually funny. Three things that help with learning and memory- 1) Actually learning, 2) Running and 3) an enriched environment. There are no drugs yet :( . The practicals after this were not so interesting. One was cool, because electricity was applied to a volunteer’s funnybone causing their hand to shake ridiculously hahaha. Another was amusing as it was to do with the balance, and it was done by this cute old guy, who told us some stories. I feel he should make friends with Nanaboo. He spun volunteers round in a chair,

and we watched their eyes flicker. There was a vision lab after this but there was not enough time to go through it all so I didn’t get to give myself an eye test. What a shame. There was also a lecture from an Asian guy who was hard to understand and frankly boring. I benefitted nothing from him. I’m not sure what he talked about, it was something like nerves and muscles and stimulation. There was then a lecture about Sports Medicine. I found this had a lot to do with physics and was sort of lame. I was bored with it, but took some notes :) . The evening activity was to go to Queen’s Street and Eaton Center (on their underground – or SUBWAY as they insist you say, the have the stations Kings, Queens and Dundas. Bob found this funny and thought it should be King Queen & Dumbass when he was here). Did a little shopping. I didn’t want to do too much as I have no need for summer clothes and stuff is expensive and can be found at home. However a bought my self a pair of green aviators and some black ones for Serene and some funky nailpolish for Aliya. I spent some time in the Center with L, I looked for a pair of gladiators. On the way back, I was a bit late to return, and these Asian girls discovered a lost me and we ran the whole way back. It gave me a stitch. M and I had discovered that since breakfast is 8ish, Lunch 12ish and Dinner 5ish we were hungry at our normal dinner time, around 10 and went to the convenience store to buy snack food. (e.g. POP TARTS which I've never had before though I have heard the name a lot).

This brings us to Thursday. We had a REALLY INTERESTING lecture from an Asian Emergency Doctor. It was fun! I was as if he was doctor House. He kept giving us case examples and we had to guess the problem. I loved it. He said he doesn’t have a very hectic shift and can pick and choose working only certain hours a week so he has time for his family. He said Doctors are not rich, and if we want loads of money and a extra lavish lifestyle, Medicine is probably not the right way to go. After this we had a practical on Physical fitness. My BMI shows I am one point overweight :( I’m quite strong and can jump an average amount. By this point I have made several more friends including S (a Taiwanese Canadian) and M (an American who I feel is dirty, although nice) in my team. Then we did some work on Presentations which we had to make for a competition on Friday, my group included S, S, M, this annoying girl S, who we’ve dubbed Jigglypuff and reminds me awfully of this annoying chick who used to be a good friend of mine, N, at home. Yeauch. Our topic is haemophilia (my idea). Then we had a brief lecture about Lie detecting, which was rather fun, and we did a practical on it. We were split into small groups and asked to chose a card from a bunch. We were then asked by other group members what our card was, and we were supposed to repeatedly deny the card they said was ours. My group did not manage to guess my card :) ! I’m a good liar! The evening activity was bowling which I skipped to do other stuff, like connect to the internet. This task was a pain in the ass. I paid $5 for an ethernet cable ( I MISS WIRELESS) and had to deactivate Bob’s Virus scans and install U of T’s choice, and run some scans on my laptop. This took far too long. I also took a niice LONG shower washing my hair (pink came out!) and everything in peace. I made our presentation pretty as well.

Friday we went in the morning. They had a totally worthless lecture about university in Canada. These people do not have a schooling system which makes sense. :( It was entirely useless. Then we had guest speakers of a Grad Student, a nurse and a paramedic, to show us what we might become if we flunked medicine, each of whom tried to persuade us their career choice was amazing. The nurse was an annoying Pilipino chick.The only speaker I enjoyed was the Grad student, since her researching sounded interesting. I like research. After Lunch (there was no Halal meat that meal :( and we ate Pizza, I’m so sick of it. I think I may have accidentally eaten a non-Halal beef burger one day. Bleh. The food is ALRIGHT though. But it’s the sammmmmeee always.) We presented presentations in front of our team and voted for the best one. By some fluke we WON. (this is odd since we made deals with people to not vote for us). We presented in front of the whole Med. Group after, and as the other groups had funny skits we improvised, and made one which involved me hitting S and him dying. It was ridiculous. Needless to say we didn’t win again. There was interesting presentation on for Porphyria, the Vampire disease :). They served refreshments after and some people’s parents came. After this, me, M, S, S and J went on an adventure, which should have resulted in us shopping, however it was a failure, and our escape failed and we returned home in time for dinner. We ate, and the evening activity was to go to a Harbourfront festival which I’d been to with Bob. We didn’t buy anything as we found it was largely Desi merchandise being sold at ridiculous prices to poor unsuspecting white people. I sat next to group member K in the bus rides. She sang, it was good singing, but rather annoying.

Let’s see… Saturday! Saturday was awesome. We went to Niagara City. I LOVED my outfit. :P It was rather green :) The bus journey was rather long, but when we got there OMG THE FALLS WERE COOL :) and I’m not the nature-appreciating sort. We took a boat ride known as Maid of the Mist, and got wet despite the blue bin bags we wore.

For lunch we went to HARD ROCK CAFE (me, M, S, V –who knows a guy at 7oaks. V & J-who may go to 7oaks or Eton like my cousin). It was really nice, however unfortunately the meat there was not Halal :/. The music and decor was awesome as per usual. After this we went souvenir shopping. I bought a crapping hippo key chain, one of those mini slideshowish camera’s (idk what they are actually called) a fridge magnet, a snow globe for Ser, a Canadian flag kite for Ali (as she keeps “flying” pieces of paper) and Maple Fudge for Bob :) . After this we took touristy pikturs and went to Hershey's for free samples as desert! IT WAS SO YUMMY. Very rich, but we sampled the mint chocolate chip fudge and the cookies and cream fudge, and it was MOUTHWATERING. YUM. V and I played with my iPod the way home. When we got back to our room M and I were extremely upset to find the floor had not been cleaned and the sheets had not been changed as had been promised. So we decided to take matters into our own hands, as we shed a lot, and our hair was on the ground, as well as a sticky mess I’d made with lens’s solution and hair mousse. I brought water in a cup from the bathroom and splashed it over the floor (causing me to slip and fall on my ass). As we had no tissues, we used a duvet that had fallen on the floor to sweep up the now gooey mess. It was EW. We then decided to shake the mess of the duvet in front of the door of our hated neighbours room. (she’s very haughty). Sadly the mess on the duvet would not remove itself from it. So we put it down. We then removed the mess from it using a spare pillowcase. The mess was stuck to this as well. So we hung it out the window in hope that the hairball we’d created would blow away. It did indeed. And every time M tells this story she claims the bald guy in the house next door was no longer bald the next morning :P

Sunday was also utterly fantabulous. We went to Canada’s Wonderland, a theme park. The entire time, me, M S and V stuck together. We rode NINE roller coasters in total, more than everyone else, although we missed some of the scariest rides, i.e. the bungee jumping and a ride called Behemoth which is the longest roller coaster in Canada if not the world. It doesn’t have any bars across one’s chest, merely one across one’s lower half, perhaps we were safer :P. We also didn’t go to the water park (OMG the number of times I was asked if I had brought my bikini… ) . We did however go on a roller coaster where you lie down, one with loops where your legs are hanging, several with sheer drops, one where you got soaking wet (it was very icky and i was forced to remove my shoes and walk barefoot for a bit. Ew) and one which swings back and forth and then turns the whole way round.

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I SCREAMED my lungs out. I’m surprised neither me or V lost our voices as she was screaming wildly in Cantonese hahaa. These were some of the wildest roller coasters I’ve ever been on and I closed my eyes and clung on for dear life for quite a few. It was IMMENSE fun though, and waiting in line was made easy by keeping nice company. We met a really good looking guy from the UofT English Program who was Ukrainian-Syrian and spoke Arabic in one of the lines. Very cool. It was an AMAZINGG day! Anyways, that was the end of week ONE :)