I guess I am in his demand

Sunday, December 14, 2014 Posted In , , Edit This
A question I often get asked is "Why Dundee?" Actually, to be more accurate, it's usually more like "WHY Dundee?!" accompanied by an appropriately mystified look and the implication that Dundee is the most obscure place on earth. (It's not even that obscure... Seriously.) What is more amusing is that the question is posed in the same way both by people at Dundee themselves and people elsewhere regardless. 

Obviously there were a wealth of reasons that it made sense. Some attributable to me, others to circumstance. Some still hold now, others now seem insignificant. 

One reason that I rarely share was that on the day we were going up for interviews, me and M sat aboard an afternoon East Coast service on an insanely sunny February day and stared out the window a lot taking in the bridges and coastline and Angel of the North and graffiti. One such piece of graffiti a was the writing "HAVE FAITH IN GOD" seen on a wall or building or what I can't remember. I  never saw it again I don't think. Nonetheless I'm certain it was there. And it inspired hope and joy and excitement in me. 

Would I do things differently if I could? But of course! What kind of person reads a choose your own adventure book and doesn't go back and change their choices.... That's boring. It doesn't mean I regret where I'm at now... Just that I'm curious about what could have been. 

So yeah... Masterplan I await you.  



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I think that life's too short for this.

Sunday, August 12, 2012 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This
 Blow Me

by P!nk
White knuckles and sweaty palms from hanging on too tight
Clenched shut jaw, I've got another headache again tonight
Eyes on fire, eyes on fire, and they burn from all the tears
I've been crying, I've been crying, I've been dying over you
Tie a knot in the rope, tryin' to hold, tryin' to hold,
But there's nothing to grasp so I let go

I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss)
You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit
My head is spinning so (blow me one last kiss)

Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit day (NO!)
Have you had a shit day? (NO!), we've had a shit day (NO!)
I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and bliss
I think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss.

I won't miss all of the fighting that we always did,
Take it in, I mean what I say when I say there is nothing left
No more sick whiskey dick, no more battles for me
You'll be calling a trick, 'cause you'll no longer sleep
I'll dress nice, I'll look good, I'll go dancing alone
I will laugh, I'll get drunk, I'll take somebody home

I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss)
You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit
My head is spinning so (blow me one last kiss)

Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit day (No!)
Have you had a shit day? (No!), we've had a shit day (No!)
I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and bliss
I think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss.

Blow me one last kiss
Blow me one last kiss

I will do what I please, anything that I want
I will breathe, I will breathe, I won't worry at all
You will pay for your sins, you'll be sorry my dear
All the lies, all the why's, will all be crystal clear

I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss)
You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit
My head is spinning so (blow me one last kiss)

Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit day (No!)
Have you had a shit day? (No!), we've had a shit day (No!)
I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and bliss
I think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss
.………………………………
To be clear, I also think I maybe think too much. My posting frequency appears to have lessened considerably as the summers have passed. In all honesty, I'm not surprised. I definitely didn't expect this blog to last forever. But if I can, I'd like to keep it another 4 years. 4 years because a) by that stage, unless I do a BMsc I should, hopefully, have a medical degree (if I do decide to do a BMsc I'll only have another year left inshallah and that's still pretty damn cool) and b) It will be 2016 and time for the olympics in Rio (which I would like to go to... my dad is in accordance, let's see what happens.) I've already had this blog 3 years and I remember writing some of my very first posts about YSP in Canada. And this year I went back to Canada and wow it was strange to think all that was three fucking years ago. It feels like a lifetime has passed. I'm really not the same person I was back then- I want completely different things all of a sudden. But that's not surprising either. I want completely different things now... than say... last year. In any case, I want to keep up with occasionally writing here because when I went back and read those YSP posts... I had forgotten so much. I mean obviously I remembered the main things, but lots of funny occurrences and things I had thought at the time... I just had no recollection of. So while updates are unlikely to be frequent, I hope that there will in fact be some. 

 I'm sure things will change over the coming years- I'm already growing increasingly cautious with regard to privacy and my online identity. But trust me, it's with good reason. Not gonna lie, I am a really really good facebook stalker. Seriously. Not going to 'fess up to all the really incredibly stalking discoveries of mine, but I will say this- U.S. swim team... I know too much random information about you. I will say no more. It will just get creepy. So my point is- if I can find out stuff about other people, you can find out a whole lot about me. I know that if people are actually reading these posts- they are more likely than not my friends. But I also know that wow you can leave a serious trail of clues on the internet. (Which is why I've gone ahead and taken my last name off twitter.) However, it would still be extremely easy to figure out who/where I am and track down my facebook profile and such things. So this blog shall remain free of all patient related stuff. And so shall my tumblr (with the exception of non-patient-related-witty-banter.. because that stuff is funny.)

 Ok so now that I've rambled about stupid stuff everyone knows for quite a while, I am going to go on and describe the highlights of the Canada trip. Yes, just the highlights. No more daily diary writing like I did at YSP and in Italy. Pssht. 

 So we kicked off the trip in Montreal. Which was a nice place. The street arrangement reminded me of San Diego. Is that weird? Probably. Normal people most likely see no similarity. Whatever. I have limited experience in North America. So anyways, I like Montreal. Cool place. Just... I don't see what all the fuss is about. A couple of my friends seem to love it and sing it's praises and whatnot... I'm not saying it's not a nice place... just it's not on my top five favourite places at all. Probably not even top 10 :O Oh well. So cool things in Montreal...let's see. Well the hotel was fucking awesome. I mean it was the Ritz so I guess it was going to have to be posh but god I could live in those bathrooms. Really. By the side of the toilet there was this remote control thing with a variety of sprays (for rear cleansing and front cleansing) and a dryer. That's right, a dryer. To dry your bits. I don't know why this is one of the most memorable parts of Montreal for me. Evidently I am finicky about bathroom hygiene. I'm going to stop talking about this now... because it's weird. We also got to experience this Quebec national day thingy parade. Which was cool. But all in French. Which supposedly I understand. And I guess I do... if I pay attention. In any case, with regard to the city itself- I really enjoyed the old part of town. It reminded me of Covent Garden. And if you know me, you know I love Covent Garden for a multitude of reasons. (Like because I went on one of those bungee trampoline things there and did lots of flips and also because I used to always go get my hair thread braided there.) Anyway, it was a cool place. I saw the McGill campus. It was pretty. I am glad my friends live in pretty places. They deserve it. They are pretty inside and out.

 Anyway, after that we went to Quebec city. (Please note, we went in a tiny plane. Not as tiny as the ones in Tanzania but honestly these were more bumpy. Africa: 1 North America: 0.)  Quebec City is nice. (See left upper middle) Not my kinda place to live, I don't think, but still, nice. It reminded me a lot more of Europe. That may or may not have been related to the fact that we stayed in a castle. In any case, I think I was more entertained in QC than Montreal. Anyway, outside our hotel, there was like this 'square' I suppose. And they had loads of street performers. Including these two incredibly hot guys who danced to black betty with fire and rings and shirtlessness. It was around this time that Syb and I started playing a game. The game is as follows. If you see a beautiful house or a hot boy, you nudge your sister with your elbow. (Feel free to nudge hard.) If the sister agrees with you and the house/boy are to her taste, she will nod emphatically. Else she will shake her head and crinkle her nose. We usually agreed. Some things you just cannot deny. Anyhoo. In QC we went to the aquarium. It was cool. There were seals and walruses and polar bears. (See the bottom left corner. Yes that is a polar bear standing up and staring at me. Be jealous.) Honestly, Syb and I (and probably Ollie too) were a considerable amount older than the average individual there. But it was fun. On the bus there (and on the way back actually) there was this group of tourists. I maintain that they were Greek. Bob thinks they were Brasilian. Their language sounded nothing like Spanish... but I have no idea what Brasilian Portugese sounds like at all. Anyway they totally sounded like Tula's parents in my big fat Greek wedding. Syb and I had a stunted conversation with them and they called us beautiful and asked about the "AQUARIA". My hands DOWN favourite thing we did there was go to see Cirque du Soleil. God those people are badass. I am a loser. They can FLY. Honestly it was very much my sort of scene. It was held between these two flyovers  and there was no tent it was just sort of in the middle of nowhere. And the music was eerie and cool and the dances were nice and sweet baby Jesus the tumbling and acrobatics those guys do... wow. Insanely cool. I almost want to join the circus. I would also like to say that watching them was entirely free. But I would have payed for that- no Desi stinginess at all. 

 After QC came Ottawa. It was nice. Partly because people were speaking English again. And they were suddenly incredibly friendly. Like Scottish people. Except I knew what they were saying. We did this really cool tour in an amphibus. It's very chitty chitty bang bang. The bus drives around on land for a bit and then drives into the river, on which it floats. The tour guide was so unbelievable cute... but... it was around this time Syb and I discovered that our hot guy/nice house game was going to be without much... well... result... I guess...because wow all gay guys seem to be hot in Canada. A great tragedy for womankind. (Not that Syb or I was going to go up and talk to them what with our parentals trailing along. Ah well.) Ok so aside from that, Ottawa was not that eventful. Except for when Syb was recruited by this extremely British Covent Garden-esque magician that was performing on the street to be his assistance. He was funny. Apparently Canadians do not appreciate the British sense of humour though. Ah well. They do however appreciate the British Queen. The day we were in Ottawa was the day before Canada day and there was a lot of preparation going on for the festivities. And thus there was a woman on stage outside the parliament singing God Save the Queen. Of course, this resulted in me and the parentals belting out the lyrics (to the first verse only, because I am not patriotic enough at all to know the rest of the lyrics.) Syb and Ollie found us embarassing. Whatever. When God Save the Queen is playing you sing along. Just like you sing along to the last two lines of the Star Spangled Banner whenever you hear it being played in the olympics. Which is a lot. 

 After Ottawa came Vancouver. I love Vancouver. It's awesome. (See top right corner) I want to live there. It has everything. It has a very mixed population. It has nice big buildings and a real city. It also has nice big trees and snowy mountains. It also has friendly people. Said friendly people also speak English. Apparently winters are mild there. My only issue was with how many dogs there were. I did not spend much time walking on the pavement. I was always on the road, walking around the dogs. Anyhoo Vancouver. Wow. Lots of awesome things happened there. The first day was Canada day and there was a parade and fireworks. I love fireworks. We did some of the bus tour stuff and it was really fun. Also did some shoppingz. We went to Chinatown where there was this awesome garden with Koi and pagodas and frogs and ducks and waterlilies. See Koi in mist (right lower middle). We also went to Granville Island which had lots of markets and such. We went around Stanley park which is just massive and sooo green. I liked. The view was really awesome (see right upper middle- the Lion's Gate bridge.) One of the days in Vancouver (It was our longest stop) was spent at altitude. First we went up a mountain. Grouse Mountain. We went by Cable care. (Yeah right, like my family would climb up a mountain. Hah.) We got to the top and there were bits of snow everywhere. It was sunny elsewhere. And the view was incredible. They also had a grizzly bear enclosure. (See left lower middle.) Those guys are so cute. I want to hug them. We then ascended further up the mountain in ski lifts. I have never been in a ski lift before. It is scary. Syb and I were freaking out a little. On the way up we started naming all the states in America to distract ourselves. When we got to the very top, there was this windmill thing called the Eye of the Wind. We went up that (it was tall) and the floor beneath us was glass and the view from there was somehow even more incredible. On the way back down in the ski lift, I suggested we sing a song. We chose Cablecar (You know, by The Fray.) This was a bad idea. It starts with the whole 'I never knew that everything was falling through' line. Falling was not a word we wanted to hear. We went back to naming states. They also had a really cool bird show up there with owls and eagles and vultures (which were entirely different from the ones I saw in Tanzania last year.) The same day, after we went down from the mountain after seeing some wolves and all, we went to the Capilano Suspension Bridge. Supposedly a massive tree fell on it in a storm and the bridge was fine but sweet baby Jesus crossing it was scary. It wobbles when there are more people on one side than another. The view of the stream flowing way down beneath it was awesome but I was fucking terrified to reach into my pocket take out my phone and take a picture. I held on the railing for dear life. I'm a wimp, but we knew that. The place is really cool though, there's a whole park around it and you can walk across these wooden bridges through the trees and it feels like you're in Tarzan or in a rainforest or something. (Yeah I know, that totally made sense.) After that, on the very same day, we had a ride on a seaplane. Seaplanes are fucking cool. And flying over Vancouver is wow. There's the city and then you fly across the bay and there's residential area and then you fly a tad more and there's massive trees. And there are so many little islands and they've all got like one massive house on them and that is all. I want my own bloody island. Sugar daddys watch out, gold-diggah me is coming your way. It was really stunning though, the scenery p0rn was amazing. And I was like DEAR GOD YOU ARE AMAZING THIS LANDSCAPE IS SO DIFFERENT TO TANZANIA.Yes I know it's obviously going to be different. But I was still enthralled. 

 We also day-tripped one day to Victoria on Vancouver Island. (It should be noted that this is very different to Victoria Island where apparently mosquitos live and hatch and stuff.) Vancouver Island was so unbelievable different. We drove to the coast in this tour bus (by the way, for some strage reason the guide seemed really attractive to me- he wasn't that good looking and also he was fairly old- but he told good stories?) Anyway said bus, was then driven on to a ferry. Apparently this is not that cool as Mom has been accross the channel like that, but I was amazed. The ferry ride was stunning but I was cold and didn't spend much time on deck. As a result I missed seeing a dolphin my parents supposedly saw the fin of. Victoria feels completely different- it feels more like Europe again. Cool thing: Victoria is below the 49th parallel. We went through American waters to get there and from the island you could see some of the mountains of the Olympic Peninsula. (See bottom right corner) I found this awesome since of late I appear to be fascinated with America. Anyway, we had a wander around Victoria, there was gelato to be had and some cool old buildings covered in leaves. Then we went to the Butchart, where there were loads and loads of beautiful flowers. Sadly I am not a flower person. But I still appreciated the pretty. (See photo at the very bottom).  It was a lovely day. As you can see, I fell in love with Vancouver. Which lead to me becoming really glum around the time we had to leave, not just because it was awesome but also for other reasons. More on that later.

 Next up was Toronto- there was shopping to be done. I remembered a lot of stuff from YSP time there... not directions though. Oops. I met up with S, and wow three years changes a lot. She was still the same in many ways, equally amusing with her blunt way of talking as before. It was strange to think she was teaching at YSP where we had both been 'classmates'. It was also strange that she's now at uni with one of my closest friends. The world is so small but so big as well. We had dim sum. I love dim sum. I had the longest walk ever that day (because I seriously underestimated distances- it reminded me of Rome with L.)  After dim sum, S and I had a wander around. We walked through UofT and I saw the halls I stayed in and the medical school and it was so nostalgic. I miss that girl that I was back then. She was so naive. Anyway, I wish I'd gotten to see more of her, or even more of the YSP people, but alas there was not enough time. I tried to lead my family to this market that had been along the harbourfront, but first I got everyone lost and then the market was closed except for weekends. Ah well. 

 We spent a couple of days in Niagara as well. I'd been before but the falls are stunning (See top) and I was thrilled to get to go again. We did the whole maid of the mist boat ride and we also walked behind the falls. We also had dinner one evening at the top of the Skylon tower in the revolving restaurant. It was at that dinner that we finally named all the states we knew. (We were short of two in the end. Oops.) It was strange. I remember when I was a kid and we used to go on holidays- at that time it was just me and Syb, no Ollie. I used to see these families with grown up/teenage kids and I really wanted to grow up. And I realised that evening, because we were all dressed up in dresses and all, that I'm grown up. And not only am I grown up, so is Syb and even Ollie to some extent too. It was strange. Niagara was lovely though, fudge was bought, foosball was played (I was beaten by a 10 year old. Oops.) I remember Niagara being one of my favourite parts of YSP as well. I made a bunch of really cool friends that weekend and good times were had.

 We were back in Toronto after that. We spent a whole day in Wonderland. That's another of the weekends I really remember enjoying. I got so tanned. I'm oddly pleased I was wearing a low cut top, because otherwise my tanning would be really obvious. I have a fucking glasses tan over the bridge of my nose. I even have a tan from my ring. It looks like I've been married. Jeez. We went on lots of coasters. Not all, but the important ones were ridden. I rode the behemoth. I remember that one from last time. Also, went on this standing up one which was slightly painful on my neck. (My dad made a fuss the entire time about me going on rollercoasters after the whole-falling off a horse fiasco when we were back home. I don't think I mentioned it on here. Basically I went horse riding for the first time and my super nervous steed was spooked by some birds and flung me off. Which was painful on my back and I had to get a shot in the ass and I couldn't bend for a while.) I ignored him though. Roller coasters are for riding. I'm 19 I'm not going to sit around and complain about my back which doesn't really hurt anymore, and I can now put my toes in my mouth again if I really want. (I do not, to be clear.) Anyway, they had this new MASSIVE roller coaster. The Leviathan. See the thing is, these Canadian coasters are much higher than the Thorpe Park ones but they don't have that bar thingy that goes over your boobs. I was actually really grateful I'm not skinny and couldn't just... fall out. Anyway, Syb, Mom and I went on that one. We were sat next to this kid who was like Ollie's age. It was his second go on it. He said "it's not that bad." Honestly, it wasn't. But I screamed like hell of course, because hellllo when you're shooting down a 306 foot drop what the fuck else are you going to do? No fucking way was I going to be waving my hands in the air. We decided that once was enough, but the kid decided he wanted to go again. Such a little badass. It was a fun day, to say the least.  The last day in Toronto we went up the CN tower which was funsies. I mean I'd done it before, but hey, it's still cool. (See the view top left corner.)  We flew back (to LDN) from Toronto. I was really very down I think after that. London was boring, the Olympics had not started, people were not around. Magic Mike was seen. A Dunds day trip was taken. Meh. 

 Why the meh? Well, after Vancouver I got into this whole meh mood because I suddenly felt like shit my life is going by so incredibly fast and am I actually doing the cool things I want to do- like having my entire head blue, having dreadlocks, learning the drums, playing in a band, learning to skateboard, waitressing- just random stupid shit that I feel would make me happy. I'm in my last teenage year and I really felt like by the time I'm done with med school I'll be too old to do all this. It also felt a little shitty that I wasn't really going to have those fabled fun years (which always look incredibly cool at North American universities.) I don't know I was just feeling old and unsatisfied and soo meh. I told my friend all this and he reminded me that summer was the time for such things. And while I agreed of course and knew he was right, and that the things I want to do can be done in summertime, I still wasn't completely over the meh. To some extent watching the olympics worsened the meh. You may have guessed my my numerous mentions of the olympics. (Especially the USA men's swimming- although please, do not forget the German's men's gymnasts and Tom Daley who I remember fangirling about when I was 15 and he was 14. Can I also just say, the fact that he's younger than me makes me feel shitty.) Seeing lots of people who were my age or younger or you know not all that old competing in their sports and being awesome made me feel really meh. And my love for a certain Mr.Adrian meant that I did rather a lot of reading about him and wow his life in the American collegiate system seemed cool. I don't know if I'm explaining this very well. Let us speak of Tony Ervin. He did the olympics way back in 2000 and then suddenly felt like it was infringing on his freedom so he left and joined a band and got sleeves inked and all. I feel a bit like that. I don't exactly want to run a way and give it all up, I just get where he's coming from. I'm not unhappy at uni. The past year I've just been content. I mean honestly I don't think I took a very active role in my own life. I just sort of floated through half asleep and daydreaming. I was lucky in that I made friends (and nice ones too- I mean not the best I've ever had :P- but nice enough since I'm living with 2 next year), in part due to the presence of M and also in that I passed my exams, because honestly when I was studying, I couldn't remember a lot of my lectures happening. It's a good thing I'm really good at the whole self-study thing.  Basically what I'm saying is that I wasn't upset or anything. But I also wasn't happy. I was content. And sort of just waiting for happiness to fall into my lap. I had this expectation that it would, because well... all my life it's sort of seemed like in university shit happened. My parents talked about university a lot and always stressed the importance of getting into a good one and all that jazz. It's also where they met. I guess I thought that sort of thing would fall into my lap too. It's funny, there's this cute boy at uni, and sometime I mention him to M and the others. But one day M and I were talking and she was like... I don't think you actually like him. And I don't. I think in that respect I was just sort of cruising a long as well sort of indifferent to everything. 

 Funnily enough, it was only when back in J-town and discussing another individual who does not seem particularly enthralled by uni-life with the girls that I realised that I'm being stupid. How the fuck can I expect happiness to fall into my lap? I'm being silly. First I have to decide what going to make me happy- and christ, it doesn't have to be a definitive thing- of course my aspirations are always going to be changing... I just need to decide on something and then work towards it properly. Pssht. Those fuckhot bodies didn't exactly just fall into the laps of those team USA swimmers. They pumped lots of iron. If I want my happy I'm going to have to go look for it. First of all- sure, Medical School in the UK means some of the things that may have made me happy -like the freedom to do more crazy stupid things- are not really feasible. But I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I'm so fucking awkward I'm never going to be a party animal. I'm clumsy and unfit and have terrible hand-eye co-oridination. If the Adrian style opportunities were there would I even be taking them? Pretty sure the answer is no. I'm also pretty sure those sort of opportunities do exist at Dunds. I just haven't really made an effort to go find them. Anyway as a result of my decision to make myself happy I have decided several things. Firstly, I want to take up at least one 'sport' properly. As in I'll go every week. At this point, I like the sound of archery (and A said she would go with me- I'm not gutsy enough to do stuff alone.) There's also trampolining which I believe A's sister does. I was also thinking about horse riding, because L does that, and honestly I really want to be able to ride a horse- but I'm a little more nervous about it after my fall. I also feel like pole dancing would be cool but HAHAHA ME USING MY THIGHS TO HANG OFF A POLE. Let's see. Another thing I want to do is learn to drive. Because my parents are the best and will probably let me have my own car. I like the freedom that gives me. Next up, I want to go to more international soc. events. I have no issue with Scottish people they're lovely and friendly and funny but that's probably a more likely place to meet Mr. Me. Meeting him is not a requirement. I'm not desperate at all and that's not something I ever want to force because hey this is a very naive view but Elizabeth Bennet never forced such things. Also I think I need to start reading my uni emails more and signing up to things without waiting for my friends to do so. I'm also pretty certain of the tattoo(s) I want. And I want to get them sooner rather than later, along with finally getting my ear pierced some more. I just need someone to go with (I don't think M or H or A or L or any of those guys are the right people for it) so I'm working on figuring that out. What else... oh yes here's a big one. My ff obsession needs to be curtailed. It's probably good that I've pretty much read all the good PandP *coughandtwilightcough* ones out there. No more reading late at night. We know what happens as a result- falling asleep in lectures. It's not pretty. When I need that outlet to get away from my life and live happily ever after I have an outlet. It is constructive to some extent and I also know I'm never going to get addicted to it. Too much effort needed. This outlet is secret and you will never ever find it unless you are one of two people, and I don't think you are because I don't think either of those two read this blog. Hah. I also feel like I haven't been as close to the God I believe in lately. And I miss God. I want to be close to God again. Oh also, I should fucking study more. We discovered at Soaks, I'm actually pretty good at that. So there. Those are basically my new (school) year's resolutions. And when I start to forget them or go off them or get bored as I usually do, I will do one of the following: a) watch some olympic swimming and remind myself that it's too late for that, but I should still do what I can and work for my happy or b) talk to one of the people I have mentioned this shit to, because they are helpful and sometimes when you're giving advice or berating someone else you realise you should probably practice what you preach. 

 If you managed to read all this, I am in awe. This is probably going to have to last another... 4 months. If you know me and you've read this and I now go on to forget my resolutions you bloody well should remind me. That is all.

 **EDIT: I just found out my cousin is off to Oxford. (Yay! He deserves it and it suits him.) I'm not jealous. And I'm really proud of myself for being happy with the path I'm on and I'm going to make the most of it.
-[n][a][d][a][&][♥]

her tattoo's always h i d d e n.

Sunday, February 12, 2012 Posted In , , , , , , , , , Edit This


Five Colours in Her Hair
By McFly
Do do do do do doo [x3]
She's got a lip ring and 5 colours in her hair,
Not into fashion but I love the clothes she wears,
Her tattoo's always hidden by her underwear.
She don't care.
Everybody wants to know her name,
I threw a house party and she came
Everyone asked me
Who the hell is she?
That weirdo with 5 colours in her hair.
She's just a loner with a sexy attitude,
I'd like to phone her cos she puts me in the mood.
The rumours spreading round that she cooks in the nude.
But she don't care, she don't care.
Everybody wants to know her name,
How does she cope with her new found fame?
Everyone asks me,
Who the hell is she?
That weirdo with 5 colours in her hair.
She was all I thought about,
The girl I couldn't live without.
But then she went insane,
She couldn't take the fame
She said I was to blame
She'd had enough
And shaved five colours off
And now she's just a weirdo with no name.
Everybody wants to know her name.
How does she cope with her new found fame?
Everyone asks me,
Who the hell is she,
That weirdo with 5 colours in her hair.
Do do do do do doo [x3]
I am in fact aware that I made a post with this song back in 2009, however this is just so incredibly appropriate as the post that follows shall concern hair colours, lip rings, tattoos and cookin (although not in the nude- mind you, I have been sleeping wearing considerably less than usual in a desperate effort to avoid laundry for as long as possible.
So first on the agenda, my cooking. (Whilst dressed. Just to reiterate.) Of late, I have found that veggie microwave meals from premier just don't hold the 'oomph' factor they may once have done. And I've been feeling carnivorous. So it was time for some experimentation. I began with the Daal my mom had left with me from before Christmas. Went ahead, bought the onions, chopped the onions, made some kind of solution from the necessary spices, added the pastes, boiled the daal, fried the onions (here there was a mishap- my mother said fry them til brown, but I wasn't sure what shade of brown so I just kept going... but then they turne black and I had to start over) and mixed everything up and cooked it. It turned out well. It was sliiightly dry but tasted yummy so I was sorted. As I was not poisoned or anything after that, I was even MORE adventurous (and carnivorous) the next week and bought the halal chicken from premier at the Union. I then proceeded to make Chicken and Salan for Marz and I as we were having dinner. It worked fairly well, other than when I dropped the chicken on my iPad whilst trying to get my mom to give me skype instructions in the kitchen. Oops. Anyway I had to borrow a chopping board (my lack of chopping board amuses Marz terribly as I have a massive knife but nothing to use it on. I told her plates worked fine. She gave me a look.) Anyway did the usual chopping, frying of onions, mixing spices and pasted, sticking chicken in a pan to cook, mixing it all up and waiting. It was done when Marz arrived. Actually it was probably done a bit before but I was concerned about poisoning us and decided to wait. She was astonished at my newfound culinary prowess.



Anyhoo, I survived both meals. Also both times there were leftovers. I have come to a couple of conclusions as a result. 1) I am marriagable. Jokes. Pretty sure I am made for Jane Austen style spinsterhood. 2) I may now hold a banquet. Who am I kidding? What I mean is a tiny little dinner for some undemanding souls. I would be able to serve tuna and sweetcorn pasta, potato salad (which I proper made last term for our PBL group dinner), daal, chicken, rice and for dessert new york cheescake.
Ok, next on the agenda is my penchant for body mod. We'll start with hair because it's least scary and I've done it before. Ok basically, I think I'd get dirty looks if I went a very outrageous colour so me thinks NAVY!
But not all of it, just the underlayer. Which brings me to the cool haircut I'd like. I want bangs back. I miss them. They also cover up ugly periodtime pimples. And I'd like the back to be layered and the underlayer to be slightly longer and navy. And to have this raunchy asymmetry at that sort of length. Ok now for the piercings. While ideally, I would really love dimple piercings and snake bites, it would appear that doctors with pierced faces are scary. So I just want a second piercing in the lobe of my left ear as well as a piercing in the cartilage of my left year. Additionally, I'd like dermals in my hips and my back and seen below as well as another pair somewhere else not going to discuss here.
Ok now for the tattoos. Whilst I do think sleeves look terribly cool as well as big ones on the shoulder blades I would not want large tattoos, and doctors with lots of ink are apparently also scary and unprofessional. Boo. What I would like is a ring made of leaves around my left big toe, a tiny heart in black ink on my pulse point on my right wrist (heart on my sleeve), another tiny black heart just beneath my jugular notch (heart stuck in my throat), and the name of someone I love under my left boob, by the apex beat (someone I love from the bottom of my heart). Of these there are no photos.
Well, I think that covers all aspects of Five Colours in Her Hair that I wanted to discuss. This post makes no mention of work simply because although I wrote of newfound motivation last time, it's hard to flip a switch in your mind and I just haven't done all that much. I think I'll try and finish off a couple of case reports now.
-[n][a][d][a][&][♥]

















& I need something more to keep on breathing for.

Wednesday, February 01, 2012 Posted In , , , , , , , , Edit This


Believe
By The Bravery
The faces all around me, they don't smile, they just crack
Waiting for our ship to come but our ship's not coming back
We do have time like pennies in a jar
What are we saving for?
What are we saving for?
There's a smell of stale feeling that's drinking from our skins
The drinking never stops because the drinks absolve our sins
We sit and throw our roots into the floor
What are we waiting for?
What are we waiting for?
So give me something to believe
'Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more to keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe
Some thing's always coming, you can hear it in the ground
It swells into the air with the rising, rising sound
And never comes but shakes the boards and rattles all the doors
What are we waiting for?
What are we waiting for?
So give me something to believe
'Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more to keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe
I am hiding from some beast but the beast was always here
Watching without eyes because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing, now it's just what I've become
What am I waiting for?
It's already done
So give me something to believe
'Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more to keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe And I need something more to keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe
I feel good right now. For several reasons. Firstly I've eaten well and am full, which doesn't happen a lot here at university. This has happened both yesterday and today, because I went out with my PBL group for one of the groupmates birthday lunches yesterday; and today my flatmates had vouchers for McDonalds and I decided to be a fatass and go along. I am also happy because I got my MMR shot and now do not have to face OHSAS unless I get some sort of horrid infectious injury (God forbid). Other reasons I'm happy include the fact that Haematology is an awesome system as we now have almost every afternoon off, so instead of finishing at 4 everyday like before, I now finish at 1. Booyah.

The main reason I'm happy is because I just found a source of great reassurance to me. Actually I found it a while ago, but I took the time to read it today. There is someone out there who is a doctor (yay I want to be one of those), evidently has ample free time (I would like free time when inshallah I am a doctor, to write blogs, play sims, own a kitten, read Pride and Prejudice fanfics and so forth), is funny (I like to think I'm fairly amusing, but if I'm not I would like to be some day), has faith (yes we don't share the same religion, but it's nice to find people with faith who have it in the way you want- I would like to be understatedly religious if that's a thing), and has love (something which I've been stupidly stressing about unnecessarily considering I'm 18, likely a commitmentphobe and a bit too naive for a proper relationship).
This makes me incandescently happy. I feel like I want to do some good solid work instead of just bumming around, a habit I have developed rather well of late. I also feel like I want to get back into m religious routing and say all my prayers nice and proper.
This probably actually wasn't what I was looking for, in the sense that I've been rather focused on finding cuteness of late, but it's definitely what I needed. So in many ways...
I found what I'm looking for.

-[n][a][d][a][&][♥]



















la la la -> WHATEVER

Friday, January 06, 2012 Posted In , , , , , , , , Edit This

Tonight Tonight
By Hot Chelle Rae
Uno, dos, tres
It's been a really really messed up week
Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter
And my girlfriend went and cheated on me
She's a California dime but it's time for me to quit her
La la la, whatever, la la la, it doesn't matter, la la la, oh well, la la la
We're going at it tonight tonight
There's a party on the rooftop top of the world
Tonight tonight and we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign
I don't know if I'll make it but watch how good I'll fake it
It's all right, all right, tonight, tonight
I woke up with a strange tattoo
Not sure how I got it, not a dollar in my pocket
And it kinda looks just like you
Mixed with Zach Galifianakis
La la la, whatever, la la la, it doesn't matter, la la la, oh well, la la la
We're going at it tonight tonight
There's a party on the rooftop top of the world
Tonight tonight and we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign
I don't know if I'll make it but watch how good I'll fake it
It's all right, all right, tonight, tonight You got me singing like
Woah, come on, ohh, it doesn't matter, woah, everybody now, ohh
Just don't stop let's keep the beat pumpin'
Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down
It's my party dance if I want to
We can get crazy let it all out
Just don't stop let's keep the beat pumpin'
Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down
It's my party dance if I want to
We can get crazy let it all out
It's you and me and were runnin this town
And it's me and you and we're shakin the ground
And ain't nobody gonna tell us to go cause this is our show
Everybody
Woah, come on, ohh, all you animals
Woah, let me hear you now, ohh
Tonight tonight there's a party on the rooftop top of the world
Tonight tonight and we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign
I don't know if I'll make it but watch how good I'll fake it
It's all right, all right, tonight, tonight
It's all right, all right, tonight, tonight
Yeah it's all right, all right, tonight, tonight
Just singing like Woah, come on, ohh, all you party people
Woah, all you singletons, ohh (even the white kids)
Just don't stop let's keep the beat pumpin'
Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down
It's my party dance if I want to
We can get crazy let it all out
Just don't stop let's keep the beat pumpin'
Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down
It's my party dance if I want to
We can get crazy let it all out
So I'm hardly ever on this anymore. Partly because I don't really like people reading everything I think, making this somewhat futile. I do, however, like going back and reading my own thoughts and laughing at myself. Which is why I'm here right now and which is why I was also PEEVED to find out somewhere along the line, I accidentally deleted my first ever post from Sevenoaks. I want those thoughts back. I'm annoyed. I can't find the post saved anywhere and this really upsets me. I even remember what the post looked like it was red with Bob Marley's "Everything's Gonna Be Alright". It was one of the most optimistic posts on here and I am so upset it's gone that I am commemorating it right here, so I always remember it existed. If I ever find it saved somewhere IT WILL GET BACK UP.
Anyhoo, this is my very first University post, although I'm actually on Christmas Break. (Which makes me more upset at having lost my very first Boarding School post.) In any case, my inactivity means I never mentionned what happened with IB and if I ended up at Uni and where in the end. Since my last IB post which I'm pretty sure was terribly miserable, I got my IB results. Somehow I snagged a 43. Which I did a little happy dance about. I got my predictions for all my subject, somehow managed to get a 7 in English instead of my predicted 6 and thank goodness, got my 6 in Math HL (two 7s, two 5s, balanced at a 6) and hence made my offer. The only thing I was peeved about was missing my extended essay A. Because Mrs.P had predicted me that well before anyone else's supervisor had deigned to predict them anything. Also, that EE was my baby. So I called up the school to see if it was worth getting a remark on that one, but our careers lady essentially called me anal retentive. I concluded thus, that it was not worth the trouble. My friends all did really well, I think, N, M and M all got their conditional firm offers with two 44s and a 45. Not sure what happened with Z as she essentially dropped off the face of the earth. And I feel ok admitting she may have been my least favourite as she had a tendency to antagonise me. C got a 42 but tragically missed hers and has absconded to Wales, where I intend to visit her at some point. L got a 39 and absconded States-wards deciding UCL was not good enough for her in her typically flamboyant way hahaha. I miss them right now. We had some amazing times and got through a good deal of shit. It's so much easier to love them when you don't live with them. Anyway M is with me at uni, and N and M I have been to visit and have visited us as well. I stayed on Ns floor and we had our usual drunk talk good times.
Now would probably be a good time to mention, I did end up going to Uni and studying medicine, and I did in fact end up up north at the University of Dundee. Which I cannot recall if I ever posted about back when I went for interviews, but I did love on my trip there. I just grew bitter about Uni in general with all my shortcomings. Anyway, on the whole, I am perfectly content there. And really I can't elaborate much further. I am neither ecstatic nor miserable. I'm comfortable. Content. I feel at ease. The place is lovely, Scottish people are unnaturally friendly, which leads me to believe that M belongs here being the way she is. It's beautifully scenic. It's not too big but it's also not in the middle of nowhere. The course is lovely and hands-on with your own little old patient from the first term and frequent cadaver dissections. I live in fear of elaborating further than this just because of all the confidentiality issues but I feel like this is vague enough. My flat is lovely and new and clean (mostly) and my 5 flatmates all turned out to have XX chromosomes. El is Scottish and lived in Dahran. When I first met her she had her arms filled with beer. Safe to say I was concerned. But she has since turned out to be very much hassle-free and her fairly silent boyfriend who basically lives with us is nice too. (My jaw dropped the first time he spoke to me months after I'd first seen him leaving the flat in the morning.) A is also Scottish from right near by, and I have since met a number of people from her school. She's pretty nice as well although sometimes I feel like she's a bit of a racist. I mean not to me. Idk if that makes sense. Em is insane. Actually. When I first met her she was all "I cam here to study no pahtays for me" but I dare say she's the most pahtay-ish. I really like her. She's from Greece, originally Russian and reminds me of my 7oaks L a lot. H is a really cool person. She did a gap year and I really like talking to her. We once ran into each other in the kitchen at midnight and ended up discussing religion and morality and philosophical things til 3am. She's also nice and neat. L is one of my faves. She's incredibly clean, I love her and want to always live with her :P She's also a social recluse just like me.
Which brings me on to my losing my mind. I was never a very sociable person, lets be honest. At home, at YSP, at Soaks I've always ended up with a small low profile group of close friends. I have that now in Dundee. Buuuut I find myself largely ensconced in my room. I really don't know why. It's not that I don't like the people I've become close to in Dundee, I do. I hang out with them on the weekends, we go out together, go to each other's houses, cook dinner etc. M and I have our long-standing Soaks bond and she sleeps over occasionally. I have really deep heart to hearts with her and H, F and L, I've been involved in a comedy show with my Medic Dad and so on. I have just found that often, I much prefer to be in my own company reading something in my room. Something that is usually fanfiction, as I have an unhealthy obsession with Jane Austen's works, especially Pride and Prejudice, which if you've seen my tumblr, you would have gathered.
The studies- I have to say, I worked WAY harder for IB. Or maybe I just did more extra-curricular stuff and wallowed in self-pity more at Sevenoaks so that now I have more free time. Idk. It's mostly likely that I should be working harder and am just lazier than ever, being all comfortable. We had exams just before I got here. I think I failed the anatomy one, although the online one was just about alright. I'm really not inclined to retake in the summer or repeat the year so this is slightly worrying. I've literally spent this holiday bumming around and I have a Ethics Module (so TOK-like PUKE) and an SSC (like a really dull EE) to do but I've just been tumbling and fan-ficcing and chyeah. I should probably get on all that. I feel like I have an excuse since I've been working for Khali but oh well. Ok I am now off bed-ward. Please note I have ruined my sleeping patterns.
-[n][a][d][a][&][♥]

















; count your [blessings] now.

Saturday, June 05, 2010 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This



                                      













Hello hello.

It has been  some time since my last post so I decided to use HTML to make a table! (USE INTERNET EXPLORER. they look nicer that way. They’re not too bad with Opera but they’re ICK with firefox, and I’m not sure about with Safari.)  I am back home in sunny Saudi Arabia (: my exams were something like a disaster. And after numerous fits of crying and doses of bonjella (mouth ulcers galore) I was thrilllled they were over and there was a week til I was going home. In actuality, having gotten most of my marks back they weren’t awful. There were some disappointments and some pleasant surprises. Maths was actually a pleasant surprise. It was the last exam and I spent all Saturday crying. My mom was of cause epicly worried, thought I was depressed, suggested I apply to “less competitive” universities or perhaps switch Math HL to an easier subject or even take a gap year. This didn’t help at all. I didn’t want any of that I just wanted a good mark in Maths. Anyways when I got back my mark it was a hell of a lot better than I had thought. Me and C were the best 2 in the class. Obviously, if I had taken History or French at HL at the start of the year, my mark probably would have been better. But I LIKE Maths. And I told my mom she was discouraging. And now we’re compromising. (:

Anyway tomorrow I go back to stupid school. I spent the whole break playing Sims 3 (woo my legacy is at generation 4!) and watching Fringe (EPIC EPIC SEASON FINALE) and basically being useless. My friends here are all cooped up with there exams alas. I have discovered that I’m better at religion in less religious countries. I seem to have a kink in my brain. Oh well.

I cannot wait for summer. SERIOUSLY . I know that in actuality I’m goign to be uber busy but I don’t caaaare. Summer Term is going to be filled with EE and TOK presentation and English Orals and COURSEWORK galore. Oh well. I shall have to be more productive. I was thinking of going to Open Days. But they seem to be a waste of time, filled with people dishing out prospectuses which can be found on the internet.

I hope I have time to go to London on the weekends. After exams I went that weekend and met my cousin and also Auntie I for the first time in ages. She’s really cool.

I’m strangely excited about university applications!  I see my taking this back in the future. I hope some of my friends Uni in the UK too. Actually I think firstly I reaally hope I get in to the UK ahahah. OH gosh Upper 6th are all headed off to Uni. Well actually, not until like October, for now from facebook it seems they’re partying it up in Amsterdam and goodness knows where else :P GIH is going to be so empty. At the end of term, the Alpen Bars and Eggs were lasting for DAYS with only the French B U6 left in the house! These two years are going to flllyyy by epicly fast. It feels like I just GOT to Sevenoaks but I’m already halfway there to leaving it! We’ve already got our little sisters and last year at this time I had just got an email from my big sister! –sigh- I know it sounds stupid but I never expected to live this long. ahahha.

Oh last night I had this epic dream. I was in a battle. M was also there idk why. Anyway the battle was happening in this huge mansion. This little kid from the other side grabbed my arm, but I twisted his wrist and broke free. Then I ran into the house looking for a place to hide. I found a bathroom and hid in the bathtub. But then I heard somebody at the door. So I hoisted myself up using the shower curtain railing and hid on top of the towel rack. It was epic, but then my mom woke me up :(

I think I shall depart now. I’ve spent ages at this computer. Largely on Ebay. I definitely have an addiction. I ‘ve bought cliffnotes and revision guides and shoes and a pocket watch. And before I came I bought two seasons of the Cosby Show fr my mom, but which we’ve all been watching. Also my sister is sitting nearby and she is “sick”and she keeps snivelling and sighing and it’s annoying. How I’m going to make it as a doctor I don’t know.

-[n][a][d][a][&][♥]

 

Who Knew

by Pink

 

You took my hand, you showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh, that's right
I took your words and I believed
In everything you said to me
Yeah huh, that's right
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever, who knew?
Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no, no no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you a friend
I'd give anything
When someone said count your blessings now
For they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
But they knew better
Still you said forever and ever
Who knew? Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we, until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened?
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
And that last kiss I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes it harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling, who knew?
My darling
My darling, who knew?
My darling I miss you
My darling, who knew?
Who knew?

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