Thursday, November 24, 2016 Edit This
lots of tears today which is different because SSRIs seem to have been causing some sort of drainage problem. less brain zaps also, but still there. all the hurt is still there too, but that never left really.
MarzBarz said something cool earlier. I'm going to keep it here in the hope that someday I can re-understand it the way I did in that moment.
"faith is very binary actually- if you have it, you don't question it, if it's lacking you do question it but no matter how much you try to make yourself have faith, it is by definition still not there"
people keep telling me to have faith in a variety of different things- myself, fate, the heavens... but I'm all set at 0s for now and hey when I figure out how to flip the switch trust me I will but for now there is just floundering and tears