It changes with seasons.

Friday, October 26, 2012 Posted In , , , , , Edit This







and just as I posted these pictures of autumn/fall... it started snowing.
-[n][a][d][a][&][♥]

the river flows in you.

Tuesday, October 02, 2012 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This
River Flows in You
by Yiruma
.............................
Hi, my name is Nada and I have an amazing life. Things are good from within at the moment. Life is (obviously) not perfect. But I can deal. And I'm happy about that. I'm managing to do both the things that I want and the things that I need at the moment.

 I'm fairly content with my current work ethic. I don't feel as lost as last year, and granted I don't make my revision notes the same day I learn things, but that's not my goal anyway. I find it more helpful to write up lectures after  a short delay, so I have time to process and let things sink in. Also, if I started revising from now, it would be very a very superficial process and I wouldn't retain much information. I know myself well.

 I've joined archery and it makes me happy. It's not a terribly active sport, but there is definitely skill involved and I want to perseve and get good at something. Also, I feel like a badass every time I shoot an arrow. And it's a great way to spend time with some of my friends that I see less often. I've also been walking pretty much everywhere, and it's about a 3mile walk from home to campus, and I go fairly often in the week. So it's not like I'm completely static.

 Life has been fun, the house is mostly sorted. And I'm happy living here. And my housemates are not driving me up the wall! But that said, one of my housemates is not on my course, so I don't see her in the day. And the other has completely different interests to me (although we do see more of each other). It's good for me to have distance. I'm a pretty private person. I wouldn't say everything has been smooth sailing. 

 I believe that there are people out there who are incredibly selfish while managing to seem generous. See, the thing is, with those people, they are only generous when they have something to gain from being that way. In one person I know, the main thing they have to gain is company. This person cannot deal with not having people around,  but does not give a shit if you don't want people around all the time. So sometimes I have to be selfish too. Sometimes you can sit in my living room alone if you insist on inviting yourself over daily. Don't think I haven't noticed that you're slowly trying to move into my house, I see you depositing your clothes and food here. Just know this, it's your own fault for being in the living situation you are in. It's not that I'm not sympathetic, I am. We all make bad decisions, and it's very hard to think ahead and know what life will really be like after you make a choice. But while the burden of misery (it's not even misery for you- you were fine before, you've just gotten it in your head that you're unhappy) is best shared, you're not supposed to dump it all on someone else. What I'm saying is, forgive me, but I will be selfish too. Sometimes you need to do things to make yourself feel good.

 There are also people out there who are stubborn and anal retentive. Look, the house is mine. And I know (very well, might I add) that nothing is permanent. Situations change quickly and unexpectedly, both around you and within you. So I do not appreciate you complicating my life by making a million changes to the place that is owned by ME. Especially when such changes are unnecessary. For the past three years I've lived in spaces that were not mine to change. But I still managed to make things my own. Trust me, you could have done it too. I've now given you a lot of leeway, but if you start to eat my currently peaceful brains again, I will not be so pleasant. 

 So now that I've gotten that out there, a list of things that make me happy:

 1) Following the lives of positive people. I'm one of those people who soaks up vibes when they're sent out by certain people. Seeing people live their happy lives makes me live mine happily. I don't generally want exactly what they have, but I like finding kindred spirits and letting other people's thoughts and views help me grow. Also, watching swimming videos reminds me that people have to work hard and be committed to get what they want. And that a lot of my dreams are in the realms of possibility. 

 2) Medicine. Last year medicine was very cool. But it didn't give me enough happy as before I started on the journey. It makes me happy again. I like learning, I think I'd forgotten that. The other day I spoked to a real patient and determined their condition correctly. That was a major ego boost. Two years ago, I think I had very different goals for what I wanted from medicine. I wanted to change the world through humanitarian work. That would still make me very happy, but now, I think so would a job working for the Royal Ballet or for USA Swimming or an organisation of the sort. None of this is final. Of COURSE I know I'll change my mind umpteen times before I (inshallah) reach the end of this degree. It's not good to put all your eggs in one basket, but it's beautiful to have goals and to give your life meaning and to have things to daydream about. I will always be a daydream believer.

 3)My kitchen. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a college student. I still feel no great love for cooking, but my kitchen is just absolutely beautiful, hamdillah. And the other day I made these really cool vegetarian sausage. That's another thing actually, I really rather enjoy my vegetarian/pescetariandiet these days. 

 4)Meeting new people. Sometimes I have to convince myself to do this, but I generally really enjoy it. I went to this Islamic society dinner and it was interesting to meet a variety of people there. The people in archery are also... interesting. :P

 5)Music. But this was always true. I've recently realised I have what is probably the most eclectic music taste of all my friends. I thoroughly enjoy the stuff on the charts as well as my techno-house stuff. Very conducive to late night pre-shower bathroom dancing. Which nobody will ever witness. I love my sixties stuff as well. Me and my housemate went on a walk to explore our neighbourhood one Saturday morning. We played sixties songs on speak from my iPhone (with a casette tape cover) and sang along. Sorry if we disturbed you. We are just generally always singing. It's like a disease. I also still very much love my alternative tracks. Me and my friends recently purchased tickets to go see Mumford and Sons play over here in November! I am beyond keen. I also love my 80s power ballads and my classical playlist (even opera.)

 6)Social media. Particularly here, Twitter and Tumblr. I've given up tweeting when angry. I love using it to follow the swimming community as well as to tweet funny anecdotes about my day. Tumblr is lovely for beautiful photos and funny conversations I want to document. I even have Pinterest. I also have a plan to educate my lovely flatmate who also happens to have a daydreamer personality type in the ways of the interwebs. Oh also, I changed the look of this blog. I grew up, so I felt like it needed to as well. I still like all the things I had on here before, but I stopped feeling a need to have them all together, all out there.

 7)My family. DUH. This list is not in any order. My family would probably be at the top if it was. Of course, they can still drive me nuts, but they are all incredibly ridiculous people. I really believe the best way for people to bond is through humour. I also get the most hilarious whatsapp messages these days, especially since there's a group of myself, my parents and Syb. Ollie keeps sending us all messages from my moms phone telling us we smell like *insert turd emoticon*. The other day I got a message from Syb that said something like "did an old dude ever teach you" accompanied by a picture of an elderly gentleman in a tweed suit looking away from her. (He did, if anyone wondered.) Bob sent me a message that said: "remember yo lov your door". No, I do not love my door. Neither does he. He meant "remember to lock your door". Parents and autocorrect, -sigh-. My mother is really enthralled by emoticons lately (defintiely Ollie's doing). She's not very good with them though. I think she meant to send me a kissy face the other day, but I got was a pagoda and a swimming man. I said: "I'm not sure what this means, but thanks for the swimmer. I hope you meant it to be Michael Phelps or Nathan Adrian." She replied: "I am sending you a big house and a swimmer to live in it with." Clearly she has the same dreams for me as I do. 

 8) Photographs. But we knew that from my instagram. See the photos of my room (and bathroom... apparently I'm one of those people) below.

Please note: my bath products are all orange/peach; Mr. Clown is CUTE not scary; my lamp, computer and variety of creams are all pink, and my window is bright and sunny; my desk is free of clutter and has a 'Respiratory Medicine' mind map on it; my bookshelf contains a shelf with puzzle books and a variety of fidgety people toys as well as shelf with my stethescope and a squishy skull; my body butter, night cream and lip balm all come in pink tubs of different sizes. 

 9)My independence. I've always loved that. I've grown to love it more as it has grown. I like that I can think for myself without being influenced by the thoughts of my family/friends. I like that I don't need to rely on other people to get my happy. (And while I may have a little crush, or not, I'm not that 14 year old who based many choices on crushing.) I like that I'm beginning to figure out what's right for me in numerous aspects of my life.

 Things are good. I feel a need to remind everyone: life is a journey, but you're not supposed to focus on the destination. If you enjoy the road and go at your own pace, when you get to the destination, whatever it is, you'll be happy, even if it's not necessarily where you intended. Things along the way matter just as much.  
-[n][a][d][a][&][♥]
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